orendalogs | IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!

Wait, no, he had a helmet on to hide his blush and now Declan wanted him to remove it again? Maybe the walk would be long enough to get his cheeks to cool down again.

And maybe Desire could stop giving him those pointed ‘looks’, too.

“They are incredibly beneficial,” was Ren’s initial response as the two men walked and he was carried along. After a bit of reconsideration, he adjusted his answer. “I like them very much. With Ghost’s assistance, I am functioning as if I existed in this state from my beginning, though I remain aware of my vast improvement.”

“H-Hey, I did the best with what I could,” Aoba threw in, half using the jibe to distract himself.

“I know, Aoba. And I am not ungrateful. The advances of technology in this era we are in do not discredit what you had to work with in our time. I would not exist without you.”

It was a walk and a bit of a climb that Declan had to help with because Aoba didn't know how to use the jets in the suit, so he had plenty of time to recover. Provided he didn't lose it when Declan princess carried him for a bit of the steep climb, levitating up skillfully.

"Don't take it poorly, Aoba. You're using technology on him that's centuries ahead of your time. Anything is a vast improvement, even if you had him outfitted with the finest money could buy back then," he reassured his friend, giving Aoba's shoulder a squeeze before reaching to rub one of Ren's ears gently.

"I'm glad you get to go home with something to ease both of your lives," the Titan remarked, gesturing for them to follow around a stone arch overgrown with flowering vines. Pushing past opened out into a truly incredible view, a vast expanse of gem-like water and jungle shores stretching out before them with volcanoes in an amber mist on the horizon.

"I dedicate this view to my friends," the big man rumbled softly, gesturing out at the landscape.

He totally lost it. It was almost a mercy, though, that half of his embarrassment was just from the indignity of it all. Look, he understood that carrying gear on their backs made piggybacks out of the question, but come on…! And he totally wasn’t going to acknowledge Desire’s wondering if Declan might not have chosen this path on purpose.

The view at the top was definitely awe-inspiring, though. It was hard for Aoba to say if it was more so than any of the vistas on Earth, given the crowded cityscape that had been all he’d known for most of his life, but that didn’t mean he dismissed it to any degree. He set Ren down and the Allmate trotted off a ways, undoubtedly capturing a new photo of the scenery with every glance around that he took.

“You know,” Aoba began, still at the Guardian’s side, “as different as everything looks, sometimes it doesn’t really feel like an alien planet to me. It could just be a side of Earth that I’ve never seen before and I wouldn’t know any better, since I never really saw anything but crowded buildings back home.”

"When you are home again...you should take your Granny and go see things as they are. Enjoy life with her for a time. Life then, in your time, is fleeting, and the world is special. I want to see you again...but don't come back until you know your life there is more complete. You have people there that love you, that you love..." He sighed, reaching up and tugging his helmet off, shaking out his soft white hair.

"I'm not going anywhere...but they might."

Declan’s words gave Aoba more of a chill than they probably meant to. Not because of the implied mortality of everyone else he knew, though that was certainly a part of it, but…because he had to question himself again. If he was being irrational, if he wasn’t seriously weighing every single factor involved, if he was just—just momentarily infatuated, then….

Ren trotted back around, prompting Aoba to push back his hood and carefully pull off his helmet. There was less shaking on his part, and instead more careful finger-combing as his hair all spilled out of the confines and he directed it gently over his back.

“…You’re a much wiser man than me, Declan,” he sighed quietly, cheeks well cooled from feeling small and stupid. It was all his own fault, though. None of it was Declan’s.

"Not really. It wasn't until recently that I understood loss. You haven't even gone yet and already I am keenly aware of the void that will be left behind in your absence," Declan mused, looking at the other man a moment before gazing out at the water and the jungle outcrops on the white stone slabs dotting the shores.

"I am only speaking from the experience I know I'm going to endure; cherish the people in your life, and life fully. I will...survive your distance, Aoba. Because I will do everything in my power to make it so you can come back. But I can't help your life back home. I cannot make guarantees about that place, so all I can do is practice patience."

What am I even doing anymore? Aoba wondered, ignoring the many suggestions put forward from the back of his thoughts.

But he still stepped over, up to Declan’s side, putting an arm loosely around the bigger man’s back. He’d have gone for an over-the-shoulder sort of thing if their height difference hadn’t been so great, but this worked well enough as a substitute as Ren moved into place to take pictures that included them as well as the scenery.

“Like I said,” was all he could reiterate, giving the Guardian a wry sort of smile. “A wiser man than me. I’m lucky I’ve got you to learn from.”

He returned the gesture, his arm easily looping Aoba's shoulders as they leaned just slightly against one another, standing and looking out across the water. The air was heavy with sulfur gas, but still breathable. Just not recommended for strenuous activity or long exposure. It smelled unpleasant, but it was more comfortable without the helmets when they could be avoided, and he liked seeing the sights with his own eyes instead of through the heads-up display.

"I learn a great deal from you as well, Aoba. I never spoke or worked to communicate. I never wanted to. There was no one in my life I wanted so hard to make understand me. You've given my life meaning where before I never realized it only had purpose. Thank you."

“Heh…would this be a weird time to admit how much I wanted to understand you, too?” Aoba answered, remarkably devoid of any pink tints to his cheeks. It wasn’t the same kind of embarrassing as the way his chest did funny things at the weight of Declan’s arm since, after all, he was speaking instead of a feeling he’d gotten within those first couple hours of meeting the Guardian.

“I couldn’t see anything to explain why those people in the bar were treating you like they did. The bartender’s reactions made way more sense to me. Then, when we went to see the Speaker, I ended up telling him right there: it felt like you didn’t have a lot of friends, so I wanted to try and be one for you.” A soft laugh, and a matching smile. “I’m glad I pulled it off.”

"I haven't been angry since I've been with you," Declan admitted in regards to his reputation. "You've never been unkind, never sought to frustrate me. I...get confused easily when I don't have time to think about things. You always wait and listen. Other people yell and push and I react. Sometimes poorly," Declan murmured, inhaling deeply, nose wrinkling at the boiled egg smell of everything. Too bad the sulfur-water fed flowering plants did nothing to help the odor.

"You became my friend simply by merit of being you. You're the first person that just...gave me time. Even Mac goes out of his way to get me angry sometimes. He says it makes me more effective on the field, and that's probably true, but...when I'm confused or upset around you, it feels better. I know I can figure things out at my own pace and you don't usually get frustrated with me." Usually, because Desire had a bit of a short fuse and got mad, but Declan approached that situation very differently from others. There was no need to fight, just wait. Things would eventually have answers. And Desire was much more predictable than someone with a gun so the need to solve issues was much less urgent.

Usually, he said. Aoba actually laughed a little at that, a self-conscious chuff of sound with his face briefly turned away (causing an unfortunate blur in one of Ren’s pictures). It was kind of a nice change to be able to give Desire one of those pointed thought-looks for a change, though.

“Then I’m grateful I’ve never gotten you mad at me. Not because I’m afraid of it, or anything like that, but because…even the parts of me that get frustrated sometimes still like you. So…thank you, for being patient with me, too.” A little pause of thought, complete with some silence and something like puzzlement from Desire. “It was a good night, wasn’t it? Watching movies together. I was a different me, but it was the closest to ‘normal’ that we’ve gotten yet.”

Was Desire…huffing? He might have been huffing. Did that mean he was pleased, or embarrassed, by ‘Reason’s’ words? Hard to imagine him anything like embarrassed, though….

"It's all you," Declan replied, tilting his head. "Taht's the point, isn't it? You're not different people, just different moods," he shrugged, looking out at the water with a vague smile and propping a hand on his hip, finger tapping the holster of his sidearm.

"I had a great time. We didn't have any misunderstandings. Just watched movies and ate and talked. I...like quiet times like that. I mean I don't mind other time, but I don't really get to just spend time with people, and time spent with you is preferable. You don't...laugh at me and make me feel stupid for what I like," the Titan snorted, eyes flicking up towards the sky, as if he could cast a dirty look Mac's way from light years between them.

"But...I think pretty much anything is normal for us. We're just figuring out our lives at our own pace. I like that. Adapting. I worried I might be hard to live with but...you're very patient. Most of the time. Ha."

Another soft laugh from Aoba at that. In a funny way, he kind of liked Declan’s gentle ribbing. Not because he liked being poked fun at, but because he liked that Declan had the confidence to address him that kind of way. He was honest, kind, and didn’t have a single bone of ill-will in him anywhere that Aoba could see it.

Better to dwell on that than on how time with him was ‘preferable’, and how it wrenched his chest a bit to hear.

“It’s…less frightening now,” he found himself admitting in turn. For all that Declan was adapting to his differing sides with remarkable comfort, Aoba hadn’t said all that much about what was going on inside his head just yet.

“It’s like when people talk about a little voice in their heads, watching or commenting on anything I do. And then, when that side of me comes forward, I become the little voice instead. There’s still enough separation that I think of us as ‘we’ sometimes, but it’s less and less like we’re total strangers. Something in me split apart and maybe it won’t ever go all the way back together, but it still takes those parts to make a whole. …Does that make sense?”

"Aoba. Do me a favor when you return home," Declan turned to the other man, sliding his hand around to gently grip his upper arm, eyes serious.

"Be patient and kind with your grandmother about all of this. Don't get angry or too upset. What she did may not have been the best thing, but it may have been the only thing. And I don't ever want you to live with regrets. You may say or do something regretful out of reflexive resentment, but you've been growing through this well. You'll be fine, and there's no point holding onto ill feelings over it. I accept you, and I know other people will too. Find your peace, alright? You should go back home and get your answers, but they're just formality at this point."

Aoba was quietly thoughtful in response, his own hand reflexively grabbing onto a bit of strapping on Declan’s gear as the Titan shifted his own arm. Desire had some things to grumble there, but the gold didn’t press forward just yet.

“I’m going to do my best,” Aoba agreed, nodding gently. “And I think…that’s something I really owe you for. Even Ren was angry and suspicious the first time that ‘split’ appeared, and he’s been with me for years. But you—even when I lashed out at you, you forgave me. On top of everything else I’ve been going through with this ‘Chosen One’ stuff, it’s just….”

He trailed off, thoughts meandering. Losing that particular train of them, he picked up another with a soft sigh.

“…You’ve been everything I’ve needed, when I needed it, right from the moment I wound up in that bar’s restroom.”

"Not everything. You need your home and familiar things, too. You need your answers and you need the people that can give them. But, when it's done and you're content, I'll still be here. You can have two homes, and if it's safe for you to come back, if you ever need to get away, you know where you can go. And I'll keep trying to be what you need," he smiled, tilting his head and sliding his arm back in for a strong, almost crushing, warm hug.

"You've been everything I never knew I needed. This whole time I thought I was broken somehow. Just turns out the right person hadn't come into my life yet. You're the best friend I'll ever have, Aoba. The best thing that's happened to me since I woke up into all of this. You fixed me."

Edited 2018-11-13 02:00 (UTC)

Definitely strong enough to leave Aoba wheezing in surprise! But there was a laugh buried in it too, and the pressure of it eased when Aoba turned in to it somewhat, hugging Declan from the side in return. (Ren, in the meanwhile, had ceased taking pictures. He was outright filming, now.)

“You can’t be ‘fixed’ if you were never broken,” he countered, but still smiling up at the larger man. “I think it’s better to say I just…helped you come out of your shell. So, maybe that can be the favor you do for me, while I’m gone.”

Aoba lifted a hand up to that broad breastplate, patting Declan’s chest just off from center. His heart and his home.

“I don’t expect you to go out and suddenly be a social butterfly or anything like that, and I don’t want you to replace me either-” slipped out selfish little words, “-but it’s a big City out there, with people and other Guardians from all walks of life. I bet you can find a few others to be quiet-type friends for you. Counteract Mac and Cayde a bit, huh?”

Stepping back enough that Aoba had space enough to move and breath, the Titan nodded slowly. Replace Aoba? Of course...the man had no idea what he meant to Declan, so it was probably easier for him to imagine, while the Awoken thought it impossible.

"I don't know who. The only other person I've ever felt even slightly as comfortable with is the Speaker and...well, he's not the sort I imagine I'll be sitting and watching movies with," Declan remarked a bit wryly. Certainly not.

"But I'll try to...I don't know. Open myself to more strike teams, maybe. Talk to other Guardians. Hang around different places in the city," he trailed off, sounding less and less sure and comfortable as he went on. Really, the idea of dealing with all those other possibilities made him feel more than a little anxious. He simply didn't want those people; he wanted Aoba. But whatever the other man wanted, Declan felt compelled to do.

And Aoba wouldn’t have worried about Declan being alone if he hadn’t known it would also mean being lonely. He gave the man’s chest one more pat before similarly pulling back to a more casual stance.

“That’s why it’s a favor to try, and not a promise I want to demand from you. You have your own pace, your own way of doing things—but you can make friends in surprising places. Without them having to fall out of random portals nearby, even. Just…stay willing to give other people a chance. If this world is worth saving, then there’s people in it worth knowing. Hopefully someone out there will help keep you from getting too bored until I come back around.”

The air was starting to get to him, though, so Aoba started finger-combing at his hair again, getting it back where it would be safe inside his collar and helmet. “But-” he resumed, “-I’m not going anywhere just yet. There’s still plenty of things to do, including find me that proper way home.”

"So far, the Reef has all the answers," Declan huffed a sigh, following suit and pulling his helmet back on, clicking it into place and waiting for the filtration hiss to pass. He felt as though he'd missed an opportunity of some sort, the same sort of feeling he got when he missed a shot on the range; a mistake that didn't cost anything but still felt frustrating. He couldn't figure out what it was, though, and had to let it go.

"Nowhere here left to check for anything and aside from the Vault of Glass - which I'm absolutely not taking you to unless absolutely necessary - there's not much more to show you of great note. Much more jungle and a lot more ruins, but those are casual trips and we're on a mission, paced or not." He nodded to the cliff edge and helped Aoba back down as they talked.

"I wonder if I shouldn't take one more patrol shift and pass through the gate fields...see if I can find a gate lord," the Titan mused to himself, eventually shaking his head. No, he didn't know if he'd need anything and he didn't want to keep working when it wasn't required and he could spend more time with Aoba. He was looking forward to showing his friend the Reef, after all.

Half the things Declan mentioned, Aoba didn’t even know what he was talking about, anyway. He just did his best to mind his steps, try not to be embarrassed whenever the Guardian had to help him more than not, and focused on not dropping Ren.

“Off to the Reef, then,” he nodded, hoping that by agreeing he could help settle his friend’s passing indecision. “Short trip this time, not the scenic one, right?”

And a beat. “…Erm, is there anything I need to know about meeting royalty?”

"Well, if there is, you know as much as I do," Declan answered with a weary sigh. He nodded in regards to it being a shorter trip. He'd give them a little over half a day, time to shower on Venus, then sleep on the trip there while Ghost and Ren managed the ship's autopiloted flight. That way they'd be clean and rested, and make it to the Reef with just enough time to get to the throneroom.

"I can tell you what I know about the Sov's and the Awoken, at least." And he did. The walk back to the Sparrow, the ride, and a few hours after showering and the ship being launched again were filled with as much history and personal experience as Declan could piece together with Ghost for interjections. He talked about Mara Sov, Uldren Sov, Techeun Witches, the great pilgrimage taken by humanity that eventually created the Awoken, the Awoken relationship with some of the Fallen houses, and his own long and complicated with the royal family. He detailed how he and Mac and a handful of other Guardians went to them for help years ago and were eventually pressed to help the Awoken in return. He talked about his mission to get the head of a Vex Gate Lord, of traveling through a portal not unlike the one's Aoba used, ending up somewhere between space and time, isolated from the passage of years, a world inverted, and how they stopped something dark, formless, and indescribable. He had no idea what the Vex were worshiping, only that it couldn't be allowed to get to Earth.

By the time they were ready for sleeping, Declan was mentally and physically exhausted and grateful for the opportunity to just collapse onto his mattress and bury his face in his pillow. He said goodnight, and left Aoba to think on all the information he'd gotten. Then, hours later, Declan woke up to Ghost prodding him to answer a hail from the Awoken.

"Aoba! Aoba, we're here," he hissed, gently patting the other man awake before plodding out to slide into the pilot seat with a yawn.

"Copy that. This is Guardian Declan requesting permission to dock. We're here for an audience with the Queen and restocking supplies."

"Supplies?" a slightly accented voice crackled over the comms. Guardians didn't typically need anything other than munitions. Sometimes the odd personal salvage trade goods...

"I'm carrying civilian cargo," the Titan clarified.

"Hm. Permission granted...Welcome back to the Reef, Guardian."

"Thank you, Emissary Venj."

"...Just Petra, Guardian. Petra, out."

When Aoba finally joined him, Declan nodded out the window at the massive space storms, the brilliant amethyst nebula, the sparkling space dust, and the colossal hulls of various derelict ships fastened together into the ever-changing "world" of the Awoken.

"Welcome to the Reef."

And to think Aoba had found his own story strange and sometimes inconceivable. One long tale later, suddenly his circumstances were the tame and unexciting version of time/space travel. Though he barely understood the tale, he took away a few things at least: mostly an explanation as to how Declan had taken his bizarre claims so easily in stride and had come so easily to his aid.

His dreams afterwards were dark and formless things as well. When Declan startled him awake, he had a fleeting thought that the destructive entity had been him all along before the dream was gone and forgotten, and the only thing behind his thoughts was a muttering that there were nicer ways to wake a person on. Predictably, Desire had some pretty inappropriate definitions of ‘nice’.

Aoba was a little slower to get out of bed than Declan but somehow refrained from flopping right back into it, giving himself a few shakes before heading towards the cockpit. He heard the exchanged words and was mustering a remark about him being cargo before he got his groggy eyes open and up enough to see more than his feet and the careful placement of his steps. Ren was perched upon the spaceship equivalent of a dashboard, since he’d been alert all the while with Ghost, but Aoba only saw a moment before his eyes found everything that was past his fluffy silhouette.

Surprise caught in his throat and rendered him all but mute, Aoba stilling in place with one hand on the back of Declan’s chair and the other on the back of his own. (It wasn’t really his when he was just a passenger and not a proper copilot, but at least for the while he’d come to think of it as ‘his’ for simplicity’s sake.)

“…amazing…” he breathed, robbed of all other words than that.

Pale eyes glanced over, Declan smile soft and warm. It pleased him that Aoba was awed by the beauty of the Reef's organized chaos. The ships moving about, rising like ghosts from the magenta dust and silently disappearing again, the myriad blinking proximity lights on vast metal mountains thrusting out of patched together hulls, the shadows of people behind massive windows set on giant community hubs. There was nothing small or weak about the Awoken empire, and the tenacity of the people made Declan proud to be part of them, even if he wasn't formally accepted.

He nodded and gestured occasionally, pointing out different places of interest; the markets, the academies, the central web of the Techeun halls, and the fortified mass where the Queen resided at the center of it all.

Drifting casually, Declan eventually turned the Mariner towards the Vestian Outpost, the primary dock for Guardians visiting the Reef. Once off the ship he continued to gesture towards points of interest, things set up to make it more useful for Guardians assisting the Awoken and vice cversa, like the bounty board and banking robot. He nodded towards a large tent home set up to the far side where a large, spindly figure chatted with Guardians and locals alike. A Fallen, friendly. And then Petra Venj standing on a platform with numerous Awoken soldiers, overseeing the comings and goings.

They couldn't gawk for too long, though, working on a tight schedule set by the royals, so Declan introduced Aoba to the one-eyed woman called Petra, and discussed going into the city. She was curt but polite and professional with Aoba. She was significantly warmer with Declan, though only out of familiarity, not personal interest. The Titan seemed fairly comfortable with her as well. Friends, in a sense, but not the movie-watching type.

In short order Aoba and Declan were escorted through the city to the royal seat, bustled hurriedly with little time to gaze about. They could save it for later.

When they were put before the Queen, it may not have been what Aoba expected. The Awoken were not a glossy and decorative people; they lived hard lives eked out in the fringes of space closest to the reach of the Darkness. They built an empire out of the refuse of humanity, and while obviously very, very cultured and cunning, they looked a bit savage compared to the people of the Last City, their clothing made of rough leathers, decorated with furs and feathers. Mara Sov lounged on her throne looking ever so superior and deadly as a coiled serpent, and her darker brother in his black gear stalked around the steps and throne like a hungry panther eager to rip out the throats of anyone his sister allowed him to dispose of.

"What is it now, Guardian?" Uldren spat, irritated for no other reason than he always seemed to be.

"Brother...is that any way to treat our guests?" Mara drawled, voice sultry, eyes half-open as she watched Declan and Aoba with an unreadable expression. Uldren said nothing, though he glared at the two men who dared waste his sister's time. Clearly the siblings saw things very differently.

"You seek information that was taken during the exodus," Mara stated, arching a brow slightly, glancing between the two men. "Maps, and charts."

"Yes, your grace. The academy referenced information the Awoken may have in their possession regarding the locations of various wormholes."

"Portal, you mean?" Uldren scoffed, peering up with orange eyes like smoldering coals.

"The semantics are irrelevant. We have no such records," Mara replied, and Declan slumped visibly. Another dead end. Uldren looked pleased to see the efforts of the two stymied.

"But the Nine had copies of those records," the Queen added idly, lips quirking in the faintest of satisfied smiles. Her brother turned with an incredulous, almost pained look, unwilling to give Aoba and Declan anything to work with and frustrated that his sister would be so benevolent.

"Xur is still skulking about somewhere. Go talk to him<," Uldren bit, earning a slow squint from Declan, who was looking uncharacteristically bristled. The Titan cooled, however, when Mara turned and addressed Aoba directly.

"Is what I've heard correct? Are you truly from before the Golden Age?"

Aoba found himself with a strange set of thoughts as he took in what tour of the Reef he could be shown, given their timetable. Technically speaking, the City itself was closer to Midorijima in terms of architecture, what with its tightly packed buildings and the remainder of humanity eking out their survival there…but something about the Reef had him far more nostalgic. The Districts had never been made of the skeletons of ships, had never been engulfed in such a richly colored nebula, but there was a ghost of familiarity even so. Exiles from Earth, living and surviving as they could.

It was inaccurate on many levels, but the comparison existed in his head for a few moments at least: that the City was more like Platinum Jail in that regard, shadowed by the Traveler instead of Oval Tower, and the Reef here on the fringes stood for the Old Resident Districts instead.

Even the Sovs themselves were closer to something familiar than the things he imagined when thinking of royalty, be they queens or emperors. They were wild, somehow, and he wouldn’t have been surprised to see people cut of similar cloth heading some of the more prominent Ribsteez gangs back home.

Didn’t mean he felt completely comfortable standing there, though. After all, it wasn’t as if he played at the Rib turf wars. But, still. It was better than being surrounded by finery and supremely formal manners, he thought.

“Yes, your grace,” he managed when he was personally addressed, having been sure to make note of that bit of address. He might not have been made for formal court, but he could pay attention to proper titles at least. “Maybe not long before, but my time hasn’t met the Traveler yet.”

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