orendalogs | IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!

Entry tags:

IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!

Who: Anyone, everyone? Aoba and Declan to start.
What: Destiny
When: After the House of Wolves, before The Taken King.
Where: Earth, The Last City, The Tower and beyond.
Warnings: Could be sorta zombie stuff (Hive), could be xenophilia? I dunno. Gen warnings, yo.

Earth. 700 years into the future, humanity is all but gone, huddled in a massive city in the mountains, surrounded by gargantuan walls and living in the shadow of the slumbering, perhaps dead, body of The Traveler. The massive being of benevolence and light that came to Earth bearing gifts of knowledge that would bring about the longest Golden Age in Terran history, hovering in geostationary orbit over The Last City of men, protecting what is left from The Darkness beyond with the remains of it's Light.

For those on Earth it is a well-known story. With The Traveler's dying breath it created Ghosts, fragments of living Light that in turn resurrected men and women across the galaxy, bringing to bear the Guardians, warriors to fight the Darkness. Earth and all the nearby planets are populated by humans, the Awoken, Exos and a variety of species of ever more distant origins, some less generous than others. The Guardians make their headquarters in a colossal spire at the edge of The Last City. There, in the Tower, the Vanguard and other factions of humanity work together to hold the line and fight the Darkness and every other threat to the known universe. The little understood Guardians rarely venture beyond the Tower, preferring the company of their brothers and sisters in arms, but all look to the Tower as a beacon of hope.

There is danger and adventure to be had; the likelihood of death and the possibility of rebirth. The future is uncertain, but all who walk in the Light know the Darkness is coming, and the wise life to the fullest.

[ Destiny Wiki ]

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Somehow, despite suddenly second-guessing himself and the response he’d offered, Aoba heard Declan’s answer. It veered his thoughts back on course, thankfully, and he gave his other self a shove along the lines of ‘don’t distract me’ in a more pleading, please-don’t-mess-up-a-normal-conversation way.

It worked enough for Aoba to quietly settle himself back down, internally, and even chuff quietly at the end.

“So, ‘yourselves’ is the right answer. Guilt comes from the inside, not outside. Soldiers in the past had families, and you have each other, so I suppose I’m just…surprised? Maybe disappointed, for all of you, that there isn’t more crossover. Or maybe it’s just easy for me to talk, since I’m outside of it all.”

He wasn’t a Guardian or a normal human, if you wanted to be technical about it. Chosen One, planeswalker, whatever else it could be called….

"Oh, no, I'm not disagreeing. But there's also nothing to really do about it. It's only further complicated by the opinions normal people have of Guardians. Some people look at us like earthly deities. Some people think we're abominations. Most people are at least in awe of us to some degree, and that creates a divide. Positive or negative, those opinions make it even harder to connect," he thought back to when he and Aoba met in the bar, the way most people gave him a wide berth; and not just because of his unfairly earned reputation.

"When I think about it, though...I don't know what else there'll be when the fight is over. Most Guardians don't have fall-back plans or other jobs, you know? We don't exactly have time to focus on learning useful jobs outside of what we already do. Even me having the time I take with you is unusual. I can only do this much because I never take personal leave for anything. Thinking about it...what's a career soldier supposed to do after a war ends? In the past, soldiers had lived before they were in the military, but we're all born into it, so to speak. It's all we know."

"Between not having families and not having lives outside of the war, we're sort of pitiful."

It still seemed wrong, somehow. Well, ‘seemed’ nothing. It was wrong. And even if Guardians were too outlandish, too far apart from normal people to form families with them, how did guilt stop Guardians from forming families with each other? Was it really so impossible?

…And what did that say about all the…things Declan had said to him? Did that make it better that Aoba hadn’t corrected him about his own…potential interests? Even if Declan was the exception to the supposed rule….

Aoba hummed a low sound, still listening.

“I think it’s sad, yes, but I don’t think that’s the same as thinking you’re pitiful,” he countered gently, giving Declan a nudge with his elbow to try and make a light rib of it. “If you were brought back into being a Guardian already familiar with war and how to fight, then I bet you have other talents and interests you’ll only have to rediscover, too.”

He paused there, thinking, and finding a possibility quite swiftly. Aoba smiled again.

“…I can see you as a librarian, for starters.”

"Me?" Declan asked, arching a brow lowly and tilting his head to regard the other man. He couldn't see it, for a variety of reasons, but they all felt sort of small for how many times Aoba had disagreed. He wasn't exactly allowed to call himself stupid, for one, even if he knew he was a bit slow sometimes. Wouldn't he just irritate people? He did love books, though. But he was huge, and whoever heard of a librarian that could literally benchpress another man?

"I think...I'd just be happy to work a hard labor job with normal hours, and have someone to come home to every night. I don't think I have feelings about building a family and having children or anything like that, since I've never given it much thought even as something I can or can't have. I just...want to be loved. But I don't know if it's a lot to ask or not. Most Guardians think it's too much, and maybe it is for us right now...but someday, maybe..." he trailed off on a shrug, smiling wistfully. He had hoped and tried, briefly. It hadn't gone to plan but...maybe that was just it. Maybe there was some cosmic balance that kept Guardians from having what other people did? Maybe Aoba couldn't return his feelings even if he wanted to?

"Anyways...I think when it's all over, I want to come to the Reef and stay a while, first. If we're able to integrate into society, I want to be Awoken for real. I have to start somewhere, right?"

I just want to be loved.

Aoba hadn’t expected that bombshell, but there it was. And it shouldn’t have been a bombshell either, but it was, hearing the man use a word as direct as ‘loved’. It pretty obviously wasn’t in the way he meant when he talked about family, either, about how Aoba had to get back to the people he loved. It was a word with degrees to it, just as ‘like’ did, and hearing him say he just wanted to be loved…really only had one interpretation.

His other side practically loomed behind him, a rumbling thundercloud of frustration that he wasn’t taking the openings he kept being given, that this was apparently the one exception he had in his willingness to speak his mind as honestly as he could.

He sat with his hands in his lap now, rubbing his hands slowly and quietly against each other, while Ren mutely gazed up at him and Aoba in turn looked out at the swirling purple nebula. He thought of that movie they had watched, the one character demanding what do you want?, but as pretty as the words were, sometimes it really couldn’t be that simple.

But Declan moved the subject on, and Aoba’s thoughts remained his own for a while longer. He looked askance at the Guardian, smiling, and nodded a bit.

“I think that sounds like a good idea. A good place to start. You know, watching people interact with you, I think people like you more than you realize that they do. I think you’ll integrate just fine.”

"I hope you're right. I hope I don't risk opening up and just find it all as barren as I imagined it," the Titan sighed, staring out at the ever-shifting dust clouds, the innumerable shades of purple and pink obscuring the masses of metal. He felt, often, like the Reef itself, just inverted. All anyone saw of him was the first impression: an immense mass, cold and unfeeling. But inside he was flimsy, weak wisps of dust, formless and uncertain. A fortress full of storms.

"I don't think the Queen would mind. The Prince has a fairly low opinion of Guardians, but most of the Awoken only care about what you do, not who you are. I think I could find a place if I didn't make myself too troublesome."

"You? Troublesome? Please," Aoba scoffed gently, though saddened by the Guardian's bleak outlook.

Aoba himself couldn't be that unique among all the people Declan had ever met, right? And -- it wasn't good for the Guardian, to be so hesitant. Aoba may have succeeded at his little 'task' of befriending the Titan, but encouraging him to befriend others was the next logical step.

"But... hey, tell you what." Deciding on what he hoped would be a distracting, but encouraging angle, he tried, "If the war ends but you end up not liking it here in the Reef, I'll take you home with me for a while. If I have two homes, then it's only fair that you should be able to say the same."

He considered it quietly for a time, wondering if it might be problematic, himself not a 'Chosen One'. Were they immune to time paradox? Was there some rule about Declan going? Would it possibly interfere with the Traveler's coming? Still...

"If you would have me there, then when the war is ended, I would go with you. Absolutely. I would have no duty or responsibility without the war...so I would be free to go wherever I wanted, if I could. I would be delighted to come with you, Aoba."

Aoba respected the fact that Declan had to think about it and sat quietly, patient. It wouldn’t have fit the Guardian’s character if he’d agreed right away but—Aoba still found himself happy when his friend ultimately did. It brought greater warmth to his own smile, imagining the big man with him on the District streets. If he couldn’t make friends here, Aoba could introduce him to Koujaku and the rest of Benishigure, for starters. Maybe they were a kind of rowdy bunch at times, but Declan would totally fit with the gang when they were helping the elderly and lost children….

“I’m glad,” he answered warmly. “So, if nothing else, you’ll always have that as a backup plan. I know just the people I can introduce you to, too.”

"I would like to visit your home some day, even if I can't stay for some reason. I'd like to meet the people you think of so fondly. Especially your granny," Declan nodded with a small smile, curious as to the sort of woman that could make Aoba into the man he was. Would it be strange to thank her for her hard work and congratulate her on a job well done?

"If I can, I'd like t--"

"Incoming communication," Ghost interrupted, coalescing between the two men. The Titan sighed and nodded, pushing himself to his feet and mumbling an apology, excusing himself for a moment. Waling a few paces away, he spoke directly to Ghost, though it was simply because he was relaying the messages. He looked calm and resigned, nodding occasionally, lips moving and brows knitting with questions. Once or twice he fumbled through the various pockets on his gear, and he checked a built in display tool on his wrist. Eventually he and Xur - presumably who he was speaking to - must have come to an agreement, because he dismissed Ghost and wandered back, grouching next to Aoba.

"I have good news and bad news. Good news is the Nine are willing to give you a copy of the portal maps they have and even see if they can triangulate a path for you based on any mapping you may already have. More good news is they aren't even asking much for it. Most of what's asked is necessary anyways." A huffed sigh, the large man standing up to his full height and holding a hand out to Aoba to help him up.

"Bad news is I have to go out on the field for some items, which means you have to stay here, or I can take you back home. Mac is here, though, and he's offered to let you stay at his place until I get back. Shouldn't be more than a day or two, tops. I just don't want you stuck on the Mariner. If nothing else, at least you have someone to talk to and show you around. But I definitely can't take you with me. I need to collect some Vex tech and investigate something for the Nine, and they're going to give over what we need upon delivery. Then...you can go home as soon as you like."

Wow. Soon was soon indeed, huh? Aoba waited patiently enough, though he was definitely watching Declan all the while, an elbow on his knee and chin propped in one hand in a display of poor posture that dear Granny would have chided him for. He was neither trying to lip-read nor eavesdrop, and only watched the Guardian’s expressions as he handled the call.

He sat back up when Declan returned, struck by no small measure of surprise that it could be so easy—only to be hit by an even bigger blow of guilt. ‘Easy’ only applied to him, riding around on Declan’s metaphorical coattails as he was. Meanwhile Declan was literally going all over the universe for him, paying gods only knew what in terms of exchange and he’d never asked for a yen—or a glimmer, or silver, or whatever—in repayment.

On his feet again, Aoba considered his options. Stay with Mac, huh?

…the cockatoo? The one with the crush on the royal asshole?

…Uh? Oh, huh. Aoba had kind of forgotten that Declan had told him that, back when Aoba had first asked about him knowing royalty. Guess only part of him forgot…and the absurdity of it all nearly distracted him for a moment or three.

“If…he’s willing, then leaving me with Mac is probably the most straightforward thing, right? Less back and forth for you to do.”

He had no comment on going home ‘as soon as he liked’. That was a point of great internal contention, after all.

"Mhm. He's far more familiar with the Reef than I am, and he's a lot more socially active so you'll probably have more fun anyways," Declan said, without sounding the least bit hurt. He knew he wasn't as entertaining a person as the Warlock, but that was just how things went; warlocks were a bizarre bunch. Not as party-hard as Hunters, but definitely interesting. Mac straddled the line between Hunter and Warlock a lot; if there was anyone to show Aoba a good time while Declan was gone, it was him.

"I'll let him know to come get you. I should probably head back and gear up. There's a few strike teams going out soon and if I hurry I can join up and keep my time gone as short as possible. I can take you back to the Mariner or you can explore the outpost until he gets you. It's safe here with Emissary Venj and Variks and the others. Up to you, but I want to get these maps for you before teh Nine change their minds."

Declan may not have sounded hurt, but Aoba looked at least a degree of confused. He didn’t think there was supposed to be an indication there that he hadn’t been having fun with Declan. Though granted, ‘fun’ probably wasn’t the right word for the kind of deep, easygoing comfort he felt around the Guardian.

“I’ll go back to the Mariner with you,” Aoba answered without hesitation. If Declan was suddenly departing to be gone for a while, then Aoba wanted to still share in his company up to the last minute. “You’re doing this all for me, so I’m not going to let you go without seeing you off.”

He smiled and chuckled at that, shaking his head before reachign out and looping an arm around Aoba's shoulders, tugging him in for a side hug as they walked.

"I'm not going for long and I'll be back before you know it. Still, I appreciate the company. Come on. We'll get your things packed for your stay. I'm going to leave the Mariner here, though, and give Ren all the access codes. I have other ships in storage and I've got them prepping one so you can escape from Mac if you need to," the Guardian smirked faintly, taking his time on the walk back, at least.

Once at the ship, Declan explained a few of the places he was going, and that some of the things he was getting weren't that difficult or uncommon, so Aoba didn't have to worry. The only sketchy part was a few things the Nine wanted from the Vault of Glass, which was extremely dangerous, but not unknown to Declan; he'd already been many, many times. Once Aoba had everything he needed, Declan waited for a time at the exit hatch of the ship, debating with himself before finally asking for a hug. After that, he wasted no time in hurrying off. He didn't want to be away for a minute longer than strictly necessary, and he didn't want to linger on goodbye, either; it made it feel like he wouldn't be back, and that made him uncomfortable.

At the very least, Aoba wasn't left hanging alone for long. Not ten minutes after Declan boarded his other ship (another old clunky thing like the Mariner) a familiar blue-skinned and purple-haired man strolled up looking like he walked straight out of a comic-book idea of the post-apocalyptic magic space-future. His gear was a colorful mix of old and new, a little punk, a little Gandalf, and his hair was all pomp. Despite looking like a bit of a prick, the pretty young face was inviting enough, with dimples and sparkling lime eyes.

Definitely one Macklemore Journey.

"Oooh, is little boy blue already pining for tall, pale, and slightly less handsome than me?" Mac drawled, grinning with bright, perfect teeth. "Get your shit, buddy, we're gettin' some food. Nothing cures a case of the gloomies like some weird ass space sushi, and you're Japanese, right? Ready to live a little?"

In a way, it was the hug that did Aoba in. Not the first one, so casual as they walked back to the ship, but the one that came at the end. For all of the insistence that Declan would be back soon and wasn’t going anywhere he was unfamiliar with, dangerous or otherwise, the hug made it feel like a parting in a way that Aoba hadn’t felt when he’d been briefly left behind for those partial-day missions.

And then there was the whole business of his own return home actually being in sight. A lead had paid off, answers were gotten, and after this Aoba would have the maps that he needed. He could go home to Granny and everyone else. He wanted to, and he needed to, and he could come back around to the City any time afterwards, but…this was it. After all the weeks that he’d been here, going home was going to happen, rather than just being the goal they were questing for.

The drawl startled him out of his vague stare into the distance, jerking him around. He may have never seen Mac in person before, but that face—or more importantly, that style, that manner—was unforgettable, even when he’d only encountered it across holographic screens.

Also Mac had flirted with him pretty hard, Aoba suddenly recalled. Now that he’d practically managed to forget, irrelevant as it had seemed to be. It came back to him now.

“Who’s gloomy?” he spluttered, hoisting his bags with his gear and Ren (who he was pretty sure he’d spotted giving Ghost a personal farewell too, huh).

"Uh, you. Obviously not me. I'm top of the world, running off with Declan's little boyfriend. I'm a ho~mewre~cker!" Mac crowed in a sing-song voice before belting out an infectious laugh and reaching out to thump a fist into Aob'a shoulder.

"Nice to finally meet you in the flesh, huh? I was starting to think all Declan was talking about was some imaginary friend. I was gettin' real concerned, like maybe you were some holo that Ghost cooked up to keep big boy from going cuckoo. Glad to see you're not a blow-up doll. That'd be an awkward conversation!" the Warlock grinned, walking along and leading the way over to his ship. The Hildian Seeker was enormous compared to Declan's older model ships, fit for a small crew. Mac didn't show Aoba around, just had him leave his things in the cargo bay for the moment (it had a cargo bay), before turning right back out to head into the city.

"So you're gonna tell me you don't miss him? Liar."

Talk about total opposites. After so long with essentially just Declan, Ren, and Ghost for company, and arguably being the mostly lively personality among the four of them, exposure to someone who was as much of a livewire as Macklemore was—almost bewildering.

Aoba focused on getting his headspace back in order as he was led along, reminding himself what it was like to be around people who weren’t as quiet as Declan. He took the punch without complaint, despite awareness that his Hunter gear had absorbed some of the shock, and otherwise observed his impromptu new host. Appearances were one thing, personalities were another. Mac was a Guardian that Declan vouched for, too, so however he acted or carried himself, Aoba had to know that there was a good heart in there for the Light to have chosen.

“He just left,” was apparently the retort Aoba had on hand as he followed Mac back into the organized chaos of the Reef. Food did sound good, and he had no objections to sushi, but if remarks about Declan were going to be Mac’s new angle on flirting it was—a decidedly weird one.

“Of course I’m going to miss him while he’s gone, but right now I’m just hoping it all goes as well as he says it should. Going out to dangerous places may be normal for Guardians, but a regular guy like me is going to be concerned no matter what.”

"Yeahhhh, we do get kinda short-ended on that stick," Mac admitted with a shrug, reaching up and combing fingers through the pristine wave of purple hair, fluffing it unnecessarily. Not a hair was out of place, and one had to wonder how he kept it so immaculate.

"Declan does himself in pretty hard though. Idiot doesn't know how to take a break. Thinks watching old movies between jumps is good enough. Man, a guy needs to take some time for himself," the Warlock groaned, making a show of rubbing at his temples.

"Sooooo do I get any detailssss ooorrrrrr are we not that friendly yet?" Mac asked, hopping on one foot and doing a surprisingly agile little spin and twist to start walking backwards in front of Aoba, holding out both hands and waving them about.

"I wanna know if it's true what they say about Titans. Are they like...super huge everywhere or does all that muscle round up a tiny package?" Because Mac assumed Aoba and Declan were together together, since his last update had been about some pretty heated exchanges. He had no idea the two were on ice.

Edited 2018-11-16 04:56 (UTC)

And Aoba, for his part, had no idea what Mac was talking about. It was innocuous enough at the start, Aoba neither missing nor dismissing the Warlock's apparent awareness of Declan's poor self-care, and even getting the start of a thought that perhaps there was an ally here that Aoba could enlist in those particular challenges -- and then Mac changed the topic on him completely.

Seeing as this was in no way a topic Aoba had ever discussed with anyone ever, about anyone's at all, he had no idea what Mac was talking about. Desire had only the mental equivalent of an arched eyebrow going on, so if he had any clue, he wasn't sharing the enlightenment.

"Sorry, what?"

"The sex, dude. Is it good? Is Declan secretly a freak or is he just as bland as I imagine? Not that I imagine him sleeping with you, that's weird, but I mean I suppose he's about as exciting as pudding left on the counter too long," Mac explained, rolling a hand lightly as they passed through a long corridor into a three way split, heading left to a door with a sign near by labeling it "Queen's Bounty".

"Declan said you two were getting kind of heavy and came to ask me about it. I gave him a little advice because I didn't want to freak him out. But I wanna know what the payoff was like and he went full clam."

The s-

Aoba balked so hard his steps forward became steps backwards, struck by those casual words like a physical blow. One, two, and then he was just frozen in place, mind reeling. Even his alternate half was given pause by the reveal of Declan having gone and talked to somebody about—Desire’s outburst, presumably. Color flooded Aoba’s face, hot and humiliating, as Mac’s prior comments suddenly presented themselves in completely different context.

So that meant Mac thought-

“We’re not anything like that!” he blurted when he found the words, not just embarrassed but even ashamed that, somehow, the complications between him and Declan had made it out to an unrelated third party.

Suddenly this wasn’t his own private problem to deal with anymore. Aoba hastened to catch up, lowering his voice to hiss, “What the heck did he tell you??”

"Really? It sounded like you were all up in his business," Mac answered, obviously perplexed. He paused, indicating to a staff member that they needed a spot for two people, and went around a corner into a nice, quiet space.

"We're just gonna get the full Queen's Ransom," he told the woman, gesturing vaguely between them. "And two waters. Thanks."

Waiting a moment for the woman to depart, Mac turned back to Aoba, folding his arms on the table and arching a brow, his own Ghost coalescing beside him and floating to look out the nearby window.

"Well, to be honest, he didn't say all that much. He was really confused and conflicted. I guess you've been at him, runnin' hot and cold? He was pretty excited initially, thought you were into him like he's into you. Last time we talked about it he was worried something he said really put you off and he wanted to know how to get over his inhibitions. That's what I took away from it, anyways. So I told him about jerking off and all, see if he could get himself ramped up and just go for it. Like, I guess you were jumping him and bein' all ready to go and he was trying to be respectful and you got pissed or whatever. Your other sex-crazy ass, I dunno. Hey in there, by the way," Mac said, waving cheerily as though there were some backseat driver behind Aoba's eyes.

"He usually talks to me about everything, but he got real dead silent. I didn't know what to think of it other than you guys must have figured everything out and started bumping uglies. But now you're saying you're not anything..." He paused, leaning back a bit to squint at Aoba.

"Are you messing with him right now? You gotta know, man, Declan isn't good with twisty emotions and all. Don't play with his heart. This is like...probably the only time he's ever been in love with someone. If you're not into him, you gotta be straight. He's kinda slow on catching those things. He's a good guy, man. It's not real fair..."

Declan had only just left, Mac had only just picked him up, and this was the conversation they were having? Aoba sat in his seat, eyes lowered, shock slowly fading away the more Mac spoke, until only that burning shame was left. It felt weird to think that Declan had been talking to someone about everything, but that was unfair. That was what friends were for, and Aoba was only a hypocrite if he wanted Declan to have more friends but then not talk to them about things when he was having problems.

It hurt to have to admit he’d been a problem, but he knew that was exactly what he’d been. And a whole lot more than a hypocrite, too.

Say that again, Desire snorted, apparently appreciating Reason getting a lecture from someone other than his other side. He hadn’t missed that separate acknowledgement, either, though he stayed passively in said ‘backseat’ for now.

So now Aoba had total strangers telling Declan loved him. Yeah. Things definitely weren’t fair.

“I’m not messing with him,” he answered weakly, staring at the tabletop. “Not on purpose. There was a…misunderstanding.” That was a good enough word as any for Desire’s ham-fisted attempts to air out Aoba’s feelings in a completely backwards manner, and all the complications that had arisen as a result. “We’re just friends.”

"You just not into guys?" he asked, tilting his head and leaning back to stretch in his seat, apparently mollified by Aoba's meek reply. "I mean if that's your problem, there's no helping it. He'll understand. Probably the most understanding guy ever," Mac rolled his eyes, folding his hands behind his head and crossing his feet at his ankles.

"If it's not that though, are you just hung up on not being from here? I thought you were able to come back whenever you like? Or are you worried about getting involved with a soldier?" The Warlock nodded slowly in general understanding. As far as he saw it, there were plenty of reasons not to get involved with a Guardian. Mac was one of those that had no complicated concerns regarding other people's opinions of Guardians or the way the world worked.

They were wrong, of course, but he wasn't the guy to go changing minds. Guardians deserved everything that everyone else had and then some, and their sacrifices were completely unfair, so far as he saw it. He and Aoba could have some pretty loud talks about their feelings there. Especially when it involved Declan getting shit on. Mac could roll with the social punches, but Declan seemed to collapse under them.

"Well...what's the misunderstanding? Spill the beans, girlfriend, your friend Mac is here to help! Thank you," he paused, inclining his head to the woman that brought over their water, explaining the food would be there in a few more minutes. He'd just gone and ordered the massive sushi platter that had samples of everything. He didn't think it was relevant to express that not everything was Earth fish. Better to just let the new guy find flavors he liked and tell him what it was later.

Trolls existed in every era.

"Did Declan screw up and think you were into him when you were just being nice or something? You didn't actually fool around? He made it sound like you guys were on touchy-kissy terms. Or about there."

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