orendalogs | IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!

Entry tags:

IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!

Who: Anyone, everyone? Aoba and Declan to start.
What: Destiny
When: After the House of Wolves, before The Taken King.
Where: Earth, The Last City, The Tower and beyond.
Warnings: Could be sorta zombie stuff (Hive), could be xenophilia? I dunno. Gen warnings, yo.

Earth. 700 years into the future, humanity is all but gone, huddled in a massive city in the mountains, surrounded by gargantuan walls and living in the shadow of the slumbering, perhaps dead, body of The Traveler. The massive being of benevolence and light that came to Earth bearing gifts of knowledge that would bring about the longest Golden Age in Terran history, hovering in geostationary orbit over The Last City of men, protecting what is left from The Darkness beyond with the remains of it's Light.

For those on Earth it is a well-known story. With The Traveler's dying breath it created Ghosts, fragments of living Light that in turn resurrected men and women across the galaxy, bringing to bear the Guardians, warriors to fight the Darkness. Earth and all the nearby planets are populated by humans, the Awoken, Exos and a variety of species of ever more distant origins, some less generous than others. The Guardians make their headquarters in a colossal spire at the edge of The Last City. There, in the Tower, the Vanguard and other factions of humanity work together to hold the line and fight the Darkness and every other threat to the known universe. The little understood Guardians rarely venture beyond the Tower, preferring the company of their brothers and sisters in arms, but all look to the Tower as a beacon of hope.

There is danger and adventure to be had; the likelihood of death and the possibility of rebirth. The future is uncertain, but all who walk in the Light know the Darkness is coming, and the wise life to the fullest.

[ Destiny Wiki ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

…he did? Really?? Well, okay, granted Aoba knew that already but—it was secondhand from Mac. Hearing it directly from Declan himself had a completely different effect on Aoba. It was the kind that made him want to squirm again, struck by the seeming dichotomy of Declan claiming to want that much, while at the same time being so self-controlled and deferring.

Desire, Reason, Restraint, came a mutter. Nothing unbalanced or fractured in him.

Only for a moment did Aoba wonder what restraint had to do with the two of them, but that was a plot thread for another time. He had enough on his mind with Declan so very wrapped around him, chaste and unassuming but also…wanting.

“Well I don’t…know how much of that I can judge you for, considering…you know. ‘Desire.’” Aoba hesitated briefly, not so much afraid as all those levels of embarrassed. Mac had said to be straightforward….

“…What…is that you think could be ‘ugly’?”

"I don't wish to speak of it, if I may keep my silence for now?" Declan admitted a bit sadly. "It isn't anything I would lie about, and I'm certain I'll speak of it eventually. I just...am not comfortable with that part of myself. I don't know if it's good or not." He'd speak if pushed, of course, unwilling to keep anything from Aoba when secrets had already caused too much trouble for them.

"There is desire in all of us," Declan reasoned a moment later, fingertips running lightly up and down Aoba's covered side in small loops.

"Sometimes those desires are frightening. Sometimes they challenge our perceptions of ourselves. Sometimes you can find a healthy outlet for an unhealthy desire, sometimes there's only one answer to the need. I'm not so different from you...I just have everything stored in the same place. Maybe it's a little harder that way, though? Hm..."

Aoba had to stare. All of him did, a significant part of him losing his sleepy contentedness in exchange for that stare.

Is he being a hypocrite at me right now? Desire wanted to know, with the feeling of narrowed eyes. Aoba could feel in him the urge to come forward, to demand answers if ‘straightforwardness’ was supposed to be so important.

He held him back, not in a state of warring, but as one would a friend on the urge of a bad decision. There was no pain, no headache, but it drew out a brief silence where his attentions went inwards rather than outwards. When Aoba ‘returned’, as it were, it was with a soft sigh.

“…Mac said to be honest with you, but also to be patient,” he finally said, cheeks a bit heated as he pushed through with narrating some of his thoughts. “Part of me wants to call it unfair for you to ask that, but…I understand, too. So I’ll only say this one thing:

“You’ve seen some really ugly sides of me already, and you haven’t judged me for any of them. Whenever you feel comfortable to…talk about it, I’ll make sure I give you that same courtesy, okay?”

Nodding with a small sigh of relief, the Titan tilted his head a bit, closing his eyes and resting fully. The tension seeped out again, the large man contented with the answer. It wasn't that he wanted to keep things, only that he needed time to sort them out and understand them. He could easily be honest about his desires, they knew that much, but he wanted to piece together what those feelings and ideas were before voicing anything half cocked.

"I'm just...afraid. I don't mean to seem like a coward. These feelings are strange to me, and make me uncomfortable for reasons I can't fully understand, and so can't properly explain. That, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable, either, when we've only just figured this much out. I could be happy like this, forever, but I know...at least a part of you wouldn't be happy with just this. I'll try. I promise."

Declan was afraid? Wait, okay, that…as long as Mac wasn’t spewing complete bull, maybe that had something to do with whatever ‘hierarchies’ meant. Desire had some ideas and, predictably, didn’t think any of them were a big deal, but Aoba kept him grumbling in the background for now.

“Sounds like we’re pretty much in the same mindset, then,” he said instead, carefully reaching a hand up until he found the strong angle of Declan’s jawline, giving a few caresses of touch much as his side had received. He dismissed the subject of chaste-or-not, focused only on the similarities of not fully understanding themselves. For Declan it was sexually, for Aoba it was his entire existence, but a similarity was a similarity nonetheless.

"I want to love you the way you deserve to be, and want to be, loved. You deserve everything, but what you want..." he shrugged slightly, face tilting into the touches, easily guided like a dog eager to be scratched in just the right spot.

"...I can't know your thoughts, but I have an idea. And I mean...It isn't that I don't want the same things. Only that those things seem so distant from me for reasons I don't understand, and can't articulate. The unease I feel is. Hm. Quite nauseating, almost? Some things I don't mind so much, they just...don't seem appropriate, given the circumstances," the Guardian coughed softly, and Aoba could almost certainly feel the heat radiating from his face.

"I find you very beautiful, and desirable. I just need you to understand that my hesitation has nothing to do with a lack of attraction. If anything...I'm far too attracted, really."

“Well I don’t want to make you nauseous!” Aoba had to splutter, something like an incredulous laugh and something just plain up squirming, half in disbelief that they were talking about…things in a roundabout-but-not way.

To think Mac had said they should just go ahead and do things. Well, that went to show that however much the Warlock had helped with some particular insights and a kick in the pants, he didn’t know everything about the two of them.

“Declan, look, I…don’t worry about what’s going on in my head and what I want, okay? I still don’t even know for sure. But I’ll work on me…and you figure out you. We’ll never find a middle ground if we’re trying to guess what the other wants, but if we can each figure out ourselves…then going from there will be easier, right?”

He crept his fingers up higher, finding Declan’s hair. The angle wasn’t quite right for a good combing, but he played his fingers through what he could reach, finding the textures of hair and scalp alike.

"You don't make me nauseous," Declan stated firmly, opening his eyes and looking quite serious until those fingers found his hair again and he sank into the bedding once more.

"Thinking about things and the coordinations makes me uneasy. There are things I imagine, due in no small part to your...aggressive approaches. I've been...distressed, ever since. Frustrated. Things I didn't know had any interest to me were suddenly highlighted. It complicated things. When I thought about them more seriously, before I came to think that you weren't interested, it troubled me. I'm having difficulty not measuring acts against one another in the weight of their impact on a person. I can't make sense of it, and I worry it may negatively effect our progress as a couple. I don't want to hold us back when we've just figured out the path forward."

Now who's overthinking?

More for them to have in common, though the particular circular ruts of Aoba's own overthinking hadn't been quite the same. The idea of Declan thinking about potential liaisons in such apparent detail was something all the more for Aoba to squirm over. Desire had really made a mess of things by trying to make the moves he had....

He ignored Desire's dry 'stare' in favor of another soft sigh, turning his head up and back in attempt to touch Declan's face with his own. A press of brows, a nuzzle, anything like that.

"Well, for whatever it's worth... it's not like I'm going to insist on anything you're not comfortable with. Even... even that other side of me said it to Mac, when he was grilling me earlier. I do want... something, yes... but I don't think I really care about the 'form' of that 'something'...."

The tilt of his head was good timing, coupled with the words, Declan's eyes open and gazing at Aoba when the man moved. Lips brushed forehead, and the Titan's hand stilled for a moment.

"Then perhaps there are some things I don't have to think too hard about," he mused, blinking slowly before pressing another kiss more deliberately against Aoba's temple.

"I would worship you, given half a chance, Aoba. I don't think you know how much of you fills my chest and head."

…Aoba’s squirming progressed from the mental alone to something actually physical, a shifting of his legs under the blanket betraying all his very failed attempts to not think about the way the electricity in his skin wanted to heat its way through the rest of his body, just from something as sweet as a kiss combined with those words. Aoba might not have known what ‘worship’ entailed, exactly, but it hardly sounded bad….

Is he trying to be the death of me? came a frustrated groan, laced with images that were outright obscene, bringing back to mind Aoba’s guilty little escapade in the shower that one time.

Aoba’s face had once again reached lobster-like shades of red, his fingers going still, then curling gently back into his palm—not recoiling, but certainly hesitating. Now it was Aoba who felt like there were mixed messages flying about, and wasn’t that an irony?

“Either…either we need to change the subject for now,” he stammered, “Or I’m going to—have a really hard time sleeping….”

Because of course, asking Declan to follow through on that offer didn’t feel right. Not when the man had to be given time to figure himself out just as much as Aoba did, right?

Of course Aoba and Declan's versions of worship were different semantically, but the Titan wasn't so ignorant as to miss the double entendre, eyes drifting to the side for a moment. He considered for a very long time, breathing slowing in much the same way it did when he was tracking an enemy in his sights before taking a shot.

"Would you want me to do something about it?"

Though he was certainly no enemy, and felt in danger of nothing more than his own body and the outrageous thoughts stirred up by the side of himself called Desire, Aoba was as still and as quiet as he could be, lest he somehow make things worse for any of them.

When the Guardian finally spoke, Desire surged into the most intense presence Aoba had ever felt of him short of a pounding headache. Aoba swallowed hard, tightly closing his eyes for an almost equal amount of time.

“…Yes,” he finally managed, voice hushed and almost hoarse, as if some form of internal yelling had physically rasped at his throat anyway. No overthinking. No deferring. Just answering the question given.

"Go lock the door," Declan stated, eyes flicking towards the entrance and back again, hand reaching out to slide across the bunk control panel, the lights in the quarters dimming slightly. He kept his expression carefully neutral, ignoring the thundering of his heart.

He'd kept reading, once he'd started; a minor problem of his, if it could be called that.

The Titan knew plenty of things, now, that he wasn't afraid to do provided he had the permission. Things that didn't make him fret over how disgraceful it might be for Aoba. Things that would let him continue to take care of the one he loved.

Lock the…but from who? Ren and Ghost? No one else could get on the ship, and as much as Aoba wouldn’t want anyone including either robot walking in on them, he really doubted—

Don’t ask, Desire practically growled as the lights dimmed. We’re gonna do whatever he wants.

‘Within Reason’ the thought almost finished, wordplay included.

Moving was decidedly difficult, but somehow, Aoba managed to pry himself from Declan’s side and squirm out of the bunk, his gait decidedly…awkward as he went to touch the door panel, locking it as easily as Declan had dimmed the lights. It was no better as he made his way back, weirdly grateful for the loose fit of his sweatpants.

…Though it did beg what he had to be so embarrassed about, if he really wanted what he said he did. Desire was more than ready to come forward and take his place, it was true, but Aoba felt like he owed this to Declan. It was important to Aoba that he back up his words and his promises by staying forward, at least…half the time.

But he still had the stage fright jitters all over again as he returned to the bunk and eased back onto the mattress, face flushed and body electric with anticipation.

Declan watched, filing everything away in his memory, picking apart details, making decisions with every wobbling step Aoba took. A hand reached out when the other man made it to the bunk, Declan helping him into it with grace and poise, making something that might have been a bit rough seem more formal. There was an elegance the Titan wanted to observe, feeling that two lovers coming together ought to have a delicate artistry to it, even in it's most vulgar moments. There would be nothing misconstrued as disgusting, nothing to make Aoba cringe away.

"May I undress you?" he asked softly, fingertips grazing gently over Aoba's shoulders, down his arms. They trembled a bit, a mix of terror and excitement warring within him, but he refused to back down when so much they both wanted might be in reach.

At least Aoba didn’t have the kind of embarrassment-fears that kept him from meeting Declan’s eyes. It wasn’t him that gave Aoba the jitters, after all. Just the deed. Not his first time, but his first time with another man, and the first time with someone he actually wanted to love….

The courtesy in Declan’s motions was unexpected, and unexpectedly welcome. What really got to Aoba, however, was feeling that hint of something unsteady in the Declan’s hands as they caressed his arms. Declan, the peerless Titan, the Guardian with countless commendations, who went fearlessly into battle against overwhelming odds…was just as tentative as Aoba was. Maybe even more so. He didn’t have any memories of having been with another this way.

It didn’t make Aoba’s nerves completely go away, but something unknotted in them just the same, loosened by the way his heart pounded with a surge of affections for the Awoken.

“Yeah,” he agreed, voice still soft as if it had also dimmed with the lights, but without rasping this time. “Go ahead.”

Nodding slightly, eyes glowing incredibly bright in the darkened room, Declan's hands moved over Aoba's body, light as birds. He peeled clothing away like some Archaeologist unwrapping a priceless artifact, careful not to drag or pull too hard, not to scrape. It was a slow process, deliberately so. It was supposed to be sensual, after all, and since Declan didn't have any personal memory of sensuality, his imagination had to do the engineering and his hands had to do the work.

The shirt and pants came off, but he left the underwear on, as much for his own sanity as because he wanted to drag it all out, because wherever skin was uncovered, lips had followed. He might add teeth some other day, nipping here and there, but for the moment he simply kissed. Slightly open-mouthed, tongue dipping out on occasion to taste clean skin; they had both showered, so it seemed perfectly acceptable. His teeth dragged here or there in random places, but never pressed. Aoba would be completely unmarred, so far as Declan had any say, and he was to do nothing but be taken care of. Any attempt to reciprocate was gently rebuffed, Declan's hands carefully grasping Aoba's and pulling them away with a small shake of his head.

"Please, lay down," he whispered, kissing the man's collarbones one after the other, pale eyes glancing up at hazel, always watching for any displeasure or distress, outside of what may be caused by his refusals.

It may have been Declan’s choice to move so slow, but it didn’t take much to prove there was hardly any need of it. Not physically, anyway. He had goosebumps at the first touch of fingers dipping under his shirt to expose his skin. The first kiss had him audibly catching his breath, and by a dozen of them in, not even the loosest pants in the world could have hidden his body’s most blatant physical response. Of course, that spoke nothing of the way heat flushed across his skin, almost as if brought to the surface by the tenderness of those kisses, in place of the bruising of teeth.

He did try to touch back, and the refusal did distress him. It knotted his brows, put confusion plain in his eyes, a voiced protest making it no further than ‘But-’ before the shake of Declan’s head silenced him.

Aoba didn’t like it. Most of Aoba didn’t like it. His mouth was dry, throat clicking at a swallow. He wanted to touch Declan too. He didn’t like being doted on without giving anything back, he just didn’t. Declan had given him too much already, it wasn’t fair for Aoba to ask for his attention and not give any—

We’re giving him us, came Desire’s throaty growl, pressing at his thoughts with the irritation of some great predator that wanted to be indolent and found itself disturbed. Anything, that side had said. He’d do anything as long as it was something.

So this time, Aoba had to surrender. Twisting his hands into the sheets was a poor substitute, and his discontent as he glanced briefly at his own white-knuckled grips was evident, but he slipped back into a recline just the same. Suddenly the peak in his underwear was the highest point of his body, and Aoba couldn’t help but find his sense of embarrassment surging again, eyes avoiding himself after that first glimpse.

"Shh. Please just let me take care of you this time..." Declan murmured, shifting on the bed until he was at the foot of in, large body hunched over as he reached, trailing his fingers lightly over miles of bare skin. He breathed out, relaxing visibly despite his still very obvious trepidation. It pleased him immensely to be able to admire Aoba so fully, and he eagerly anticipated seeing the rest.

"Let me have this. I want to worship at the altar of your body," the Titan's voice hummed, hands sliding down Aoba's sides, fingers barely dancing across ribs and belly, down his hips and thighs. Eventually he came to Aoba's ankles and he lifted one, pressing kisses in the crook of bones and tendon, kisses behind his knee, the softest uncovered part of upper inner thigh...

"It's something I can do that doesn't trouble me in the least. I've wanted to put my mouth on your body ever since the idea came into my head," Declan whispered as he turned his head just enough that his breath blew hot and moist across Aoba's covered erection. So tantalizingly close, and the nearer the Guardian got to his intended goal, the less afraid he felt, just like in the field pursuing a target. The rewards here were far sweeter than any stupid commendation.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

Yep. This was pretty much exactly what Desire had imagined at the first utterance of ‘worship’. Aoba could say he mentally didn’t like it, didn’t like the imbalance of receiving without giving back, but no lie in the world could have explained away how readily his body responded to it. He tried to watch Declan without watching himself, but anticipation had already become aching, the heat in Aoba’s skin so intense that he could feel the muggy onset of sweat upon his brows.

His body was all tension. Strained knuckles, curling toes, muscles flexing in a conflict of trying to move with Declan without resisting him, despite being unable to relax completely into his tending. His breaths had already quickened to keep up with the speeding of his heart, and something not too unlike an abruptly cut off whine caught in his throat when Declan kissed the inside of his thigh.

I’m going to die if you don’t! was Desire’s exclamation inside his head, somehow and apparently delighting in the torture of being left hanging so long, but all Aoba could manage on the outside was a struggling nod of his head, teeth clenched around the sounds he didn’t want to make any more of.

At the nod, Declan smiled one of those trademark faint smiles of his and lowered his head to trace the straining shape of Aoba under the fabric with his lips. Hands sliding up bare thighs snaked fingers under elastic and curled enough to hook, pulling down slowly and tossing the underwear across the room to smack silently against the shower and flop to the floor.

He stared for a moment as he leaned back, taking in the fruit of his efforts, Aoba digging into to bed and struggling not to fall over the edge. Declan's pale gaze drifted up, making eye contact as he crouched between Aoba's legs and slid his hands down and around, curling his arms behind the other man's knees. It was the only warning Aoba got before the Titan's muscles flexed and his hips were airborne, lifted from the bed and arching his body upwards.

Strong hands and iron biceps caged Aoba's legs so no amount of squirming or bucking would get him away, and the position robbed him of the ability to get any good leverage. He was effectively at the Titan's mercy, just as Declan wished it.

The Guardian's tongue slid hot and wet over Aoba's arousal, laving the skin without an ounce of the earlier misgivings. He tasted every inch of the most sensitive, most intimate places, tongue a firm, wet pressure peeling skin away before his entire mouth engulfed the man. Like riding a bike, he mused to himself, brows furrowing for only a second before he gave himself over to muscle memory, devouring his lover without a hint of shame.

What Declan lacked even an ounce of, Aoba had in tonnage.

It seemed—ordinary enough, Aoba thought in the vaguest fashion. At first. Declan had some hang-up about positions and wanted to use his mouth so…so that was what it was going to be. The fragments of just imagining that only added to Aoba’s tormented excitement, a whimpered little sound escaping him anyway when he was kissed through the dark fabric of his underwear. His heels pressed into the mattress except when they were lifted to get that last piece of his clothing gone, and then he was turning his head aside entirely lest he see himself. Declan could look all he wanted—an average-sized erection, an all-natural patch of hair just as blue as the hair on Aoba’s head—but the man that it all belonged to suddenly couldn’t stand to see it.

Thus he was all the more surprised and distressed when half his body got yanked up where he didn’t expect it to be. There was squirming from Aoba then, alright, complete with a shrill little sound choked in his throat as the rest of his body had to go scooting downwards, as it were, his shoulders and head dragged down off the pillows since he most certainly did not do anything to keep his back in that arch.

He did not like it. He did not like it. Desire was laughing, a raucous what the fuck!? somewhere in his head that belonged to them both in very different emotions and then-

Gold. The squirming stopped, replaced with heels striking Declan’s back as Aoba locked his knees tight as he could, throat unlocked as Desire’s laughter found voice. Of course, that was soon dissolved into delighted groaning as the Titan got to work, somehow managing to fetch Aoba’s dick from its graceless flop against his stomach and back up into that lavender-tinted mouth.

A minute, two, maybe even three at best. Too riled up and now too shameless to hold back, that was all it took before climax crested on him, Desire at least more than happy to be loud about it as pleasure finally flooded Aoba’s body and overflowed to the greed of Declan’s mouth.

It was a bit of a shock, initially, though Declan couldn't think of why, since it was the logical conclusion to their actions. There he was, hungry for his lover - ravenous, even - and fully prepared to continue working the man over until he was screaming, then it was over. Poof. Just like that. He'd been so thoroughly encouraged by the heels against his back and the raised voice that it hadn't occurred to him that Aoba might finish so quickly.

It hit Declan's mouth too fast for him to choose to pull back, maybe let Aoba come...somewhere. Anywhere other than his mouth. He hadn't thought that far and hadn't decided how he would handle it. Put on the spot and unwilling to stop servicing Aoba until he was completely spent, Declan held his breath and pressed in, letting cock and all slide down his throat with questionable ease. He waited until his lover was done before pulling back slowly, gently lowering the man's hips into his lap, pausing only to rub his mouth with the back of his arm. Afterwards, he simply gazed down at the other man's flushed body, admiring, fingers caressing the sides of his legs soothingly, waiting for him to come down.

The breathlessness that followed Aoba's ecstatic cry gave way, soon enough, to the return of laughter. Now it was more like wheezy snickering, though, as the man sagged into the mattress, legs still up in an ungraceful 'V', a calf braced against each of Declan's broad, white shoulders. Desire, for one, had no compunctions about looking across the length of himself, taking in the exposed position he found himself in, and pleased by the spit-slicked and spent look of his dick.

He didn't even care enough to mind that it hadn't lasted all that long, considering. Finally he had gotten some.

"You kinky bastard," he chortled up at Declan, combing his own faintly-sweaty hair back from his face with both hands in order to improve his view of the Guardian. "Of course you're a control freak."

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