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orendalogs2015-12-11 10:38 pm
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Entry tags:
IT'S YOUR DESTINY!!!
Who: Anyone, everyone? Aoba and Declan to start.
What: Destiny
When: After the House of Wolves, before The Taken King.
Where: Earth, The Last City, The Tower and beyond.
Warnings: Could be sorta zombie stuff (Hive), could be xenophilia? I dunno. Gen warnings, yo.
Earth. 700 years into the future, humanity is all but gone, huddled in a massive city in the mountains, surrounded by gargantuan walls and living in the shadow of the slumbering, perhaps dead, body of The Traveler. The massive being of benevolence and light that came to Earth bearing gifts of knowledge that would bring about the longest Golden Age in Terran history, hovering in geostationary orbit over The Last City of men, protecting what is left from The Darkness beyond with the remains of it's Light.
For those on Earth it is a well-known story. With The Traveler's dying breath it created Ghosts, fragments of living Light that in turn resurrected men and women across the galaxy, bringing to bear the Guardians, warriors to fight the Darkness. Earth and all the nearby planets are populated by humans, the Awoken, Exos and a variety of species of ever more distant origins, some less generous than others. The Guardians make their headquarters in a colossal spire at the edge of The Last City. There, in the Tower, the Vanguard and other factions of humanity work together to hold the line and fight the Darkness and every other threat to the known universe. The little understood Guardians rarely venture beyond the Tower, preferring the company of their brothers and sisters in arms, but all look to the Tower as a beacon of hope.
There is danger and adventure to be had; the likelihood of death and the possibility of rebirth. The future is uncertain, but all who walk in the Light know the Darkness is coming, and the wise life to the fullest.
[ Destiny Wiki ]
What: Destiny
When: After the House of Wolves, before The Taken King.
Where: Earth, The Last City, The Tower and beyond.
Warnings: Could be sorta zombie stuff (Hive), could be xenophilia? I dunno. Gen warnings, yo.
Earth. 700 years into the future, humanity is all but gone, huddled in a massive city in the mountains, surrounded by gargantuan walls and living in the shadow of the slumbering, perhaps dead, body of The Traveler. The massive being of benevolence and light that came to Earth bearing gifts of knowledge that would bring about the longest Golden Age in Terran history, hovering in geostationary orbit over The Last City of men, protecting what is left from The Darkness beyond with the remains of it's Light.
For those on Earth it is a well-known story. With The Traveler's dying breath it created Ghosts, fragments of living Light that in turn resurrected men and women across the galaxy, bringing to bear the Guardians, warriors to fight the Darkness. Earth and all the nearby planets are populated by humans, the Awoken, Exos and a variety of species of ever more distant origins, some less generous than others. The Guardians make their headquarters in a colossal spire at the edge of The Last City. There, in the Tower, the Vanguard and other factions of humanity work together to hold the line and fight the Darkness and every other threat to the known universe. The little understood Guardians rarely venture beyond the Tower, preferring the company of their brothers and sisters in arms, but all look to the Tower as a beacon of hope.
There is danger and adventure to be had; the likelihood of death and the possibility of rebirth. The future is uncertain, but all who walk in the Light know the Darkness is coming, and the wise life to the fullest.
[ Destiny Wiki ]
no subject
The whole exchange that followed was—something else completely. Though not unfamiliar in the long scheme of Aoba watching people and even Allmates interact, it defused him a little, even if only temporarily.
The question presented next was a tame one again, and also one that he didn’t have to deliberate over. In fact, it had him putting down his glass of water with a frown, perturbed that Mac might suggest as much that it was a question that could be answered 'yes'.
“No.”
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"Stop getting all agitated. You know these questions are for your own good, too. So tell me this: he's in love with you, he's pretty much all about you these days, he's struggling to make sense of everything for your sake, and you said you're okay with guys...to a degree...and you like him as well. To a degree. So what's got you hung up, from either perspective, your more chill and broody side and your firecracker bang-it-til-it-breaks side? I mean if you're both interested, why are you hesitating, for real? It seems like you're making yourself miserable. If you could see your face right now, you'd agree."
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That’s not exactly points in his favor.
“Why shouldn’t I be agitated?” Aoba wanted to know in return. “Declan can decide what he wants all he wants, but so I can I, and if that decisions is to not be with him then I should be just as allowed to say that!”
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Inhaling deeply with a long sigh and shaking his head, the Warlock leaned back again, taking a rolled cone of sushi along with him, taking nips off it idly.
"What I don't get, though, is where the whole misunderstanding happened, if you weren't interested. Like....why come onto him at all, if you weren't? For all that you've got some kinda randy side, like everyone does, like it or not, you don't really strike me as the kind of person to lead someone on. At least not anyone you're actually friends with. What made you back out if you were comin' on strong in the beginning, man? You get spooked or somethin'?"
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Now it was Aoba’s turn to rock back, sans sushi, hands instead occupied by the fists they made upon the tabletop. It wasn’t as simple as Mac, and the movies, kept trying to make it. It just wasn’t. Because if it was, what was even the point!?
“Because it’s backwards!” was finally all he had to say for himself. “And now I can’t get away from the first impression made by a side of me I don’t even completely understand!”
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"Ahead of him, maybe. I mean I'm at least not squeamish about my intentions, anyways."
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“…Because if that’s all it is, I don’t want it,” Aoba murmured, as aware as anyone that the words sounded even weaker outside of his head than they did within it. Even he wasn’t dumb enough to be told, repeatedly, that someone loved him, and to somehow take that as a ‘but only physically’ remark.
And it wasn’t like he was some prude, either. He’d had to ‘take care of things’ in the shower, for god’s sake. The thought of physical intimacy with Declan got him worked up in a variety of ways that he was well aware of.
But of all the things he knew he wanted, there was one that he insisted the others hinge on.
“I don’t know who I am. And I can’t get involved with someone until I do. Not until I can hold my own.”
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The Warlock glanced at his Ghost as if daring him to say something. The construct turned away and looked up, making a humming sound, exaggeratedly minding his own business.
"I mean like...'Yo I'm into you and all but I want like a really fulfilling relationship and I feel like I could have that with you but not until I really really know myself so I gotta go soul-searching and when I figure myself out I wanna revisit this topic', or something to that effect. But what do you mean 'if that's all it is'? All what? All love or all lust? Dude. It's Declan. He doesn't really do things in half measures..." He paused, serving a few of the more flavorful and typically choicest pieces of the dish onto a small plate, pushing it over to Aoba. The highest courtesy at a meal coming from someone who liked to play at being as self-serving as Mac.
"What's giving you the impression it's all one thing or another? You guys have some kinda intimate hiccup?"
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He glanced down at the little side-plate as it was pushed to him, quietly considering it, before finally tugging it a few degrees closer. Accepting the peace offering, as it were.
But the hole had been made in the dam, and the words kept coming.
“…This other side of me,” he said, after a piece of sushi had been eaten. “The last time he was up front, things went okay, but the time before that was just…vulgar. It upset Declan. I don’t want to do that to him again, and I don’t want him to think that that was all that I am.”
This was no longer Aoba trying to argue a case. This was straight up airing his fears, irrational and all.
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"Declan thinks - or thought - you might have personal feelings for him. Like romantic ones. But that the other more, uh, scandalous bit of yourself maybe takes a little 25% and turns it into a 175% full tilt, throwing your emotional weight and hungers around too top heavy. He was extremely afraid it was like being drunk. I've been totally shitfaced around him before and he only has that for comparison, but the way he said it was he thought everything was honest, but weighed too heavy, and that he worried you'd bottle up and back off if you thought you'd done anything 'untoward', I think was the word he used. Which kinda seems like that's probably what you did anyways..."
"You...do realize that for all I talk shit on him and he talks shit on himself, Declan is actually a pretty perceptive and smart guy, right? He knows you're all one person with a lot of shit to sort out, and likes you anyways. If you worried about the vulgar approach you maybe took - or definitely took, I dunno - I wouldn't too much, if I were you. He came to me asking how to figure it all out. I didn't really have any advice for him on how to make it all work, especially with those weird fuckin' hang-ups he has. He doesn't have so many words, but I know he's got this weird thing about intimacy like...I dunno..." Mac paused, gesturing with his hands one over the other in a stacking motion.
"Hierarchies? It's absurdly outdated, if you ask me. He thinks he'd be demeaning you somehow. I have no idea where he got the whole idea, since I sure as hell didn't give him any literature of that nature, but he thinks whatever role you take when you're doin' the deed actually matters, like socially. As if it were anyone's business anyways." He snorted, stuffing a few pieces of meat into his mouth and chewing idly.
"So he was trying to read up on the whole thing to see how it all works so he could make sure anything he worried about he could do first, so if things, you know, swapped out, then he wouldn't feel guilty. I think he knows it's stupid, but...fear is fear, man. Sometimes they're really ridiculous but there's nothing you can do about it. Like I have full-blown freak outs if something genuinely sticky gets in my hands or between my toes. So...I pretty much hate honey and sugary things," he shrugged, volunteering an unnecessary amount of information on pretty much everything. If Declan said too little, Mac definitely said too much. But...he did at least offer a lot more insight than his friend was capable of articulating.
no subject
It sure made for a déjà vu sort of moment when Mac hit on ‘fear is fear’, though. Honey anecdotes aside.
“So we’re both afraid of ourselves,” Aoba sighed, rolling a stray fish egg around his plate with the tip of a chopstick. Sounded like a real healthy basis for a relationship, that.
After a few moments more, Aoba gave his head a shake, making one last grasp at retreat. “There’s no reason for me to get his hopes up. He thinks I don’t like him that way now and I should just—leave it like that. That way if I never figure myself, he won’t….”
And then all he could do was trail off, conflicted. Wouldn’t what? Be left hanging? Be actually strung along? Things Aoba would never do to him, not willingly. And he and his other side were already getting along better, so it wasn’t as if Aoba had much basis to think that things wouldn’t continue to improve.
Fear was fear.
no subject
Another shrug, hand reaching for another roll.
"It goes one of two ways: it works or it doesn't. If it works, it's amazing, all rainbows and sparkles and magic, right? Awesome. But what if it doesn't work? Okay...then here's how that scenario pans out: Declan likes you, you like him, you try things, it doesn't work out. Declan is a really genuinely good guy, so on his end, he just keeps loving you, even if just platonically as a friend. Then the rest is on you and how you handle it. You can run off and never look back; that's totally an option for you with your particular set of skills. Or you can be mature about it, break things off, and still have a solid and loving relationship. Realistically, everything works out either way you take it."
"Personally, I'd just drop all the preamble and politics and you both be natural. If you guys get heavy, deal with it at your own pace. But I think you're being unkind to yourself, Aoba. Being different doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy, and being you doesn't mean you don't deserve Declan. If even some part of you actually wants it, I think you guys are grown ass enough to handle it, and you owe it to yourselves to try. I mean shit, how many people can say they literally crossed oceans of time and space to meet each other? It's disgustingly romantic, even you have to admit."
no subject
It had been the more upsetting story to Declan, but The Notebook had ended better for the couple involved than the titular character of Hunchback. Shaky (and admittedly embarrassing) though the parallel was, did he really want to be the Esmeralda to Declan’s Quasimodo? Something about Mac’s final statement stirred some vague memory, too, some story he’d been told at some point or another about an older tradition. Something about the Milky Way and the wings of magpies.
“Hikoboshi and Orihime,” he murmured, digging up the bit of trivia from whatever patch of neurons had clung to it. Finally he slumped in his seat somewhat with another sigh, though it was body language that radiated ‘surrender’ more than ‘relief’.
“You…may have a point….”
no subject
"That other side of yourself does too, y'know. Kind of. I mean it obviously causes you some grief, but at least it's not too chicken to admit what it wants. There's nothing that says you can't have it both ways though. You can want something and go for it without throwing yourself into it. Pacing yourself is just good sense. But honest final opinion," Mac paused, holding a hand up, "Do what your heart says. You're doing way, way too much listening to your head. You're stuck a~ll up in there. Man just follow your instincts and do what feels best. If that's really, truly running off without any doubts, do it. But if even one tiny bit of you wants Declan, well dude, he wants you, too. Be adults! Do adult things! Don't get tied up in the details and spook yourself. If Declan's big crybaby ass can get over his anxiety enough to try, you sure as hell can."
no subject
And then, relief. He'd been grilled enough, conceded the point, and was companionably shouldered out of the way, hazel going gold.
"And overthinking is basically his job description," added the lower tone and more relaxed speech of Desire as he reclaimed a chopstick and stabbed a maki roll. "Guess it just goes to show, sometimes you just gotta hear it from someone other than yourself."
no subject
"Fancy swap there. Mood-Swings-R-Us, double daily discount," the Warlock hummed to himself, tilting his head and looking Aoba over. It was his first time witnessing the difference. Without as much personal experience as Declan had, he couldn't say he noticed all that much, but then he was definitely very accustomed to tumultuous moods. His 'Dear Prince' was notoriously salty and sweet.
"Don't get all smug, though, acting like the other tactics aren't part of the problem, too. Flat out sweaty paw lusting isn't thinking with your head, it's thinking with your dick. You gotta find a good middle ground, man. If you legitimately want to go for broke, learn a little patience. Declan will come around if you give him time and try not to choke on his ideas of propriety. Not that I have any idea where that plays between the sheets, but he's got his ideals and no one should begrudge him those, when they're all about how much he cares about you."
no subject
Into his mouth went the meat, complete with a brief pause of appreciation for the unexpected heat of it. But Reason was finally doing a round of thinking in a less self-deprecating way, so Desire left him to it, taking on the role of 'protecting' him for a while by coming forward to resume facing Mac.
"The big guy treated me normally from the get-go. I'm smitten. I'll do anything he wants me to, as long as it's something."
no subject
"Why can't Uldren be more like you? Tch. Man. Here I am, a fuckin' snack, and I get blanked. I'd let that man use me as a footstool just for a little recognition. I'd complain about how lucky Declan is except you guys are on the rocks right now, and that sounds about as bad."
no subject
Handjobs and sixty-nines, though. Mac said it with a degree of resignation, but Desire got a pleasantly warm flush at the thought of Declan doing either of those things with him, gazing off for a moment at nothing in particular. Either one would be a far cry more than the nothing they were currently getting.
“Well if it’s a matter of swapping with me going first, that’s easy,” he said with a distracted little grin, as much for himself (meaning Reason, who squirmed) as just as commentary. “Hard part’s just getting all of me to fess up. Least we got a couple days before our big guy comes back to think it through.”
Unless Declan did one of his check-in calls. Now that might be a trainwreck.
no subject
"Honestly guy, I think if you just ease Declan into a fair-share position, you can get him up to a place you like afterwards without any issue. He's already emotionally invested. He talks about you just plenty and not in uncertain terms. If he's avoiding the L-word for any reason, it's because he thinks it'll run you off. He's not a monk, though. He might not need or want sex in the more common tradition as you or I do, always having at least a tiny nugget in the back of our minds, but he's still a man. He still gets excited about things, or he wouldn't have come to me looking for help. That guy could be the next Buddha without trying, but he's human, too." Mac's eyes rolled, little flashes of lemon-lime flickering under mulberry lashes.
"I could be your Cyrano. Sort of. Not the best analogy, but it's the best I got. I mean I can map it out for you, the path of least resistance." He nodded, ticking off on his fingers.
"You know he has real feelings for you; nothing Declan says or does is guided by his penis since the idiot probably didn't even realize he had one before you started feeling him up. You know he's not expressly against intimacy with you; he's just got some weird hang-ups about what he's willing to do. The caveat there being he's probably willing to do literally anything, but his morals or whatever you wanna call it says he won't do anything that puts you in, shall we say, a more passive role, unless he 'submits' first. You're gonna have to get over whatever your feelings are there, he's like that because he respects you. If you don't want respect, then you're gonna end up like me. No one wants that."
A pause, tapping his chin before reaching out for a sip of water.
"And we all know Declan doesn't like lies at all, so he's pretty painfully honest or just says nothing. So line it up like dominoes. Go at him hard like usual, but go with guns loaded. So to speak. Ask him right up front if he's got feelings for you and what those feelings are. You'll have every confirmation you need with no more stupid misunderstandings. If you don't want to hear those answers, though, don't ask. Go on plugging your ears, but you wouldn't be in this position if you didn't already know the answer. He's head-over-heels for you. But best to hear it from him instead of me."
"When you know without a shadow of a doubt how he feels, then go for the rest. Y'all have your fun. You can do all your chaste hanky-panky with him, or if you wanna get really freaky-deaky, I imagine all it'll take is showing by doing. This is probably the only scenario in your life where your dick is literally the key to the lock. You probably don't even have to be good at it. You can be cheap and give him a poke and say you're done, then make him do all the work. He's dumb. He'll do it. Don't give me that look, you know I'm right."
no subject
The only bit that particularly got a reaction was at the end, where Desire did indeed give Mac something of a dry look. He couldn’t call him smart and perceptive and then just turn right back around and call him dumb again.
“He’s a lot of things, but he isn’t dumb,” Desire side-spoke around a mouthful, wiping spicy mayo off his lip with his thumb and sucking it clean. “And trust me, I’m plenty aware that he likes me. Speaking as this side of things, I’m not used to being liked, but I’m also not used to waiting for what I want. I hate waiting.”
Half hunched over his plate, Desire looked off to the side, idly thoughtful. “Either Reason’s bleeding into me a lot more than I’m bleeding into him, or Declan’s the first thing I’ve met worth waiting for.”
no subject
"He's dumb about things, but not dumb in general, no. A little slow, maybe. Difficulty on the uptake sometimes," the Warlock pointed out, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat, observing Aoba idly.
"He likes all of you, though. He was very adamant that I understand you're a single person just with wildly variant opinions, and I am not - under any circumstances - to make assumptions about you as a person. I don't have much experience with you though so I'm just accepting everything at face value. That being said, no offense, but I like this side of you more, personally. I, however, am trash. Declan is not. I think you make him very nervous. Though only because you make him feel funny in his wee-wee," the Warlock dropped his tone and picked up a bit of baby talk at the end, clearly having fun at Declan's expense, but the man wasn't there so it could hardly be called bullying.
"I will take personal offense if you don't call me to girl-talk about the sex later. Just saying."
no subject
He snorted a dryly amused sound. “Isn’t he your genetic cousin or something like that? Being interested in family’s sex life is kind of fucked up.”
And somehow, it was the friendliest comment Desire had made yet, his smile skewed in a way that passed no judgement, amused or not.
no subject
"My life is a dry well, Aobz," he palled around with the other man's name, smirking in idle challenge. "Don't begrudge me my entertainment."
no subject
Desire considered for a moment that a few words from him could send that Uldren right to Mac for anything he wanted, if he could just get in range of him. At the meeting the Queen wanted to have with Aoba, maybe? Surely that would be a much better 'reward' for the Warlock than just confirmation as to whether his cousin was well hung or not.
The mental smack from Reason arrived just as expected, leaving him laughing quietly between bites.
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