Confused, relieved, happy, came the reminder of the prediction made, followed by an almost growled: Don’t you run from him now. So Aoba sat through Declan’s fidgeting as Declan had sat through his own, wondering again at how things just felt painful and awkward, telling himself, Hang in there, this is the only painful part.
“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed, surprised almost that the words weren’t a squeak, that he was still perfectly audible even though his voice was soft, afraid of being misunderstood again. Like a man leaning into a trust fall, he kept going off of Declan’s words, since coming up with his own from scratch just kept turning out as roundabout messes.
“Anything I said, or didn’t say, before—that’s all in the same jumble of me not knowing who I am or how to express myself normally. Right now, I’m…I’m still a mess, but I’m better than when we first realized how fractured I am, and I want to believe that I’ll get better and better still. Maybe right now, I’m not someone who can be a good partner for you…but if I can’t be that person now, then…it’s the person I want to be in the future. And I hope it’s a close future.”
no subject
“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed, surprised almost that the words weren’t a squeak, that he was still perfectly audible even though his voice was soft, afraid of being misunderstood again. Like a man leaning into a trust fall, he kept going off of Declan’s words, since coming up with his own from scratch just kept turning out as roundabout messes.
“Anything I said, or didn’t say, before—that’s all in the same jumble of me not knowing who I am or how to express myself normally. Right now, I’m…I’m still a mess, but I’m better than when we first realized how fractured I am, and I want to believe that I’ll get better and better still. Maybe right now, I’m not someone who can be a good partner for you…but if I can’t be that person now, then…it’s the person I want to be in the future. And I hope it’s a close future.”