And Ren, with a few flicks of his pointed ears, followed as he was led. He’d sent Ghost a recording of the ‘talking to’ Mac had given Aoba, and in turn was learning what had happened with the Vex that he had missed and—as much as he was used to being there for great moments of upheaval in Aoba’s life, even he had to recognize that this was something he no longer had a place in. But he was following Ghost, rather than stepping out alone or going into sleep mode, so it didn’t hurt as much as it might have. (That it hurt at all was worth a whole different line of thinking he’d have to dwell on.)
Thus, Aoba was left at the little table with Declan, wetting his throat with his tea before he got started. Not blunt, but honest and straightforward. It was just stage fright. He already knew what Declan thought of him.
“…I’ve been a real mess these last few weeks,” he ultimately began. Unable to just get right to the truth, he began instead with a clumsy explanation, hoping that context would help him to the subject better. The side of himself that could already say everything honestly stayed in the background, because this was a matter of all of him proving his honesty.
“Between the business of being a Chosen One, finding my way home, and finding out that my personality is all split up the way it is—it’s been hard. Complicated. The last part’s been the worst. I’m—we’re—whatever I really am, it’s getting better, but I’m a long way from knowing who I really am. But that’s a little too far from the point I’m going for.”
He took a breath to gather himself, another sip of tea, and rewound. “This is about…what I’m afraid you might think of me now. Or what you could think about me. Because one side of me said too much, and the other side of me hasn’t said enough, and I don’t…I’m afraid of you not believing me, now, because of everything all coming out backwards.”
He was overthinking still, but at least now he was overthinking out loud, and letting Declan into his mindset. Just say it already!
“Because I like you, Declan. That’s why I want to be your partner, and not a burden. I…want to be in your life, and I want you to be in mine.”
It wasn’t saying ‘love’…but it was the best he could do right now.
no subject
Thus, Aoba was left at the little table with Declan, wetting his throat with his tea before he got started. Not blunt, but honest and straightforward. It was just stage fright. He already knew what Declan thought of him.
“…I’ve been a real mess these last few weeks,” he ultimately began. Unable to just get right to the truth, he began instead with a clumsy explanation, hoping that context would help him to the subject better. The side of himself that could already say everything honestly stayed in the background, because this was a matter of all of him proving his honesty.
“Between the business of being a Chosen One, finding my way home, and finding out that my personality is all split up the way it is—it’s been hard. Complicated. The last part’s been the worst. I’m—we’re—whatever I really am, it’s getting better, but I’m a long way from knowing who I really am. But that’s a little too far from the point I’m going for.”
He took a breath to gather himself, another sip of tea, and rewound. “This is about…what I’m afraid you might think of me now. Or what you could think about me. Because one side of me said too much, and the other side of me hasn’t said enough, and I don’t…I’m afraid of you not believing me, now, because of everything all coming out backwards.”
He was overthinking still, but at least now he was overthinking out loud, and letting Declan into his mindset. Just say it already!
“Because I like you, Declan. That’s why I want to be your partner, and not a burden. I…want to be in your life, and I want you to be in mine.”
It wasn’t saying ‘love’…but it was the best he could do right now.