Aoba’s appetite was gone again. At least he’d gotten some food in his stomach while it had lasted, he supposed, but only very vaguely. In the back of his thoughts Desire still remained mostly quiet, seemingly satisfied to let Mac wear Aoba down from the outside for a change.
“…Because if that’s all it is, I don’t want it,” Aoba murmured, as aware as anyone that the words sounded even weaker outside of his head than they did within it. Even he wasn’t dumb enough to be told, repeatedly, that someone loved him, and to somehow take that as a ‘but only physically’ remark.
And it wasn’t like he was some prude, either. He’d had to ‘take care of things’ in the shower, for god’s sake. The thought of physical intimacy with Declan got him worked up in a variety of ways that he was well aware of.
But of all the things he knew he wanted, there was one that he insisted the others hinge on.
“I don’t know who I am. And I can’t get involved with someone until I do. Not until I can hold my own.”
no subject
“…Because if that’s all it is, I don’t want it,” Aoba murmured, as aware as anyone that the words sounded even weaker outside of his head than they did within it. Even he wasn’t dumb enough to be told, repeatedly, that someone loved him, and to somehow take that as a ‘but only physically’ remark.
And it wasn’t like he was some prude, either. He’d had to ‘take care of things’ in the shower, for god’s sake. The thought of physical intimacy with Declan got him worked up in a variety of ways that he was well aware of.
But of all the things he knew he wanted, there was one that he insisted the others hinge on.
“I don’t know who I am. And I can’t get involved with someone until I do. Not until I can hold my own.”