Aoba couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so put on the spot. Now it got to eat at him all the more. Declan had been excited at the start? And all he wanted was to be loved, he’d said. Didn’t that just make Aoba the biggest heel in the universe, to be the first person Declan had ever fallen for, and to refuse him?
Holding back truths was a whole different game from lying. Withholding truth just meant keeping his mouth shut. Now here was Mac, another Guardian, not actually messing with Aoba all over again but expressing interest and concern, asking pointed questions that covered all the bases. And even though Desire was simmering in the back of his thoughts, the pressure Aoba felt from him was akin to hands firmly on his shoulders, forcing him to stay where he was and face what was being said to him.
“He thinks I don’t, but I…like some guys,” he admitted quietly, cheeks still hot and eyes still averted. Maybe it was a non-issue here in the future, but for Aoba, it was still an confession that went against cultural norms of people liking the opposite sex and any variance to that being ‘weird’ or ‘strange’. I like Declan, he even thought, but held in the words. That truth was the one he had to bury for as long as possible.
“I can come back any time I want…and I don’t care that he’s a Guardian.” So what was it, then? The stupid little things that held him back from airing out a simple misunderstanding and discovering the possibilities of him liking Declan and Declan liking him? That kept going around in his head and holding him back, despite his other side’s every attempt to shoot them down-
no subject
Holding back truths was a whole different game from lying. Withholding truth just meant keeping his mouth shut. Now here was Mac, another Guardian, not actually messing with Aoba all over again but expressing interest and concern, asking pointed questions that covered all the bases. And even though Desire was simmering in the back of his thoughts, the pressure Aoba felt from him was akin to hands firmly on his shoulders, forcing him to stay where he was and face what was being said to him.
“He thinks I don’t, but I…like some guys,” he admitted quietly, cheeks still hot and eyes still averted. Maybe it was a non-issue here in the future, but for Aoba, it was still an confession that went against cultural norms of people liking the opposite sex and any variance to that being ‘weird’ or ‘strange’. I like Declan, he even thought, but held in the words. That truth was the one he had to bury for as long as possible.
“I can come back any time I want…and I don’t care that he’s a Guardian.” So what was it, then? The stupid little things that held him back from airing out a simple misunderstanding and discovering the possibilities of him liking Declan and Declan liking him? That kept going around in his head and holding him back, despite his other side’s every attempt to shoot them down-
“…But I don’t deserve him.”