Though Desire had complained that Declan spoke too much, it had greatly just been a factor of things not being "fixed" as swiftly as he meant them to be. That shoving aside all the talking, all the overthinking, had not hastened them past the awkwardness and to a point where things could just be. Now Declan spoke and Reason was at the reins to listen.
But he still felt a blunt sensation in the moments that followed, as if Desire had struck the back of his head with the heel of his hand. I told you so! he squawked. And that was definitely the word for it. Squawked. No matter how much he'd called it, it was a shock to finally hear it said.
Especially right now, standing close and bare and feeling like electricity should have been jumping back and forth in sparks across their skin.
But... the pounding in his breast suddenly filled with warmth, too. There was a definite difference in having figured something out, and having it said right to you.
"Declan..." He fumbled for the words that could be equally honest, equally explain. If he was afraid of being disbelieved at this point, he had to be clear. He couldn't skip past the details, or say them other than plainly, as Desire had. Aoba lifted his hands, resting them on Declan's, welcoming the weight to his shoulders and hoping to still the nervous fidgeting in those fingers.
“If I could have just spoken plainly from the start…I would have already told you the same thing,” he answered, face heated in ways that the warm fall of water and the billowing of steam had nothing to do with. “Instead I only said things like…I want to come home to you. O-or I’m more comfortable around you than anyone else. It was always true, but it wasn’t true enough.”
He gave one of those hands a soft squeeze, tilting his head to rest his cheek against the other, in a way bringing himself to that added little bit of contact rather than force Declan to move for it. Still, it was loose. Something the Titan could pull away from.
“I’m not mad at you. No part of me really is. Only at myself, for not making myself be understood no matter which way I tried. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but I do want to be part of—of everything you do want. And I don’t want to do anything that you wouldn’t do to me, because I want to be…your equal partner. In every way that word can mean.”
Was that enough? No, it needed to be more. Clearer.
“I…fell for you before you’d even come home from those weeks that you were gone, though it was only a little afterwards that I realized it.”
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But he still felt a blunt sensation in the moments that followed, as if Desire had struck the back of his head with the heel of his hand. I told you so! he squawked. And that was definitely the word for it. Squawked. No matter how much he'd called it, it was a shock to finally hear it said.
Especially right now, standing close and bare and feeling like electricity should have been jumping back and forth in sparks across their skin.
But... the pounding in his breast suddenly filled with warmth, too. There was a definite difference in having figured something out, and having it said right to you.
"Declan..." He fumbled for the words that could be equally honest, equally explain. If he was afraid of being disbelieved at this point, he had to be clear. He couldn't skip past the details, or say them other than plainly, as Desire had. Aoba lifted his hands, resting them on Declan's, welcoming the weight to his shoulders and hoping to still the nervous fidgeting in those fingers.
“If I could have just spoken plainly from the start…I would have already told you the same thing,” he answered, face heated in ways that the warm fall of water and the billowing of steam had nothing to do with. “Instead I only said things like…I want to come home to you. O-or I’m more comfortable around you than anyone else. It was always true, but it wasn’t true enough.”
He gave one of those hands a soft squeeze, tilting his head to rest his cheek against the other, in a way bringing himself to that added little bit of contact rather than force Declan to move for it. Still, it was loose. Something the Titan could pull away from.
“I’m not mad at you. No part of me really is. Only at myself, for not making myself be understood no matter which way I tried. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but I do want to be part of—of everything you do want. And I don’t want to do anything that you wouldn’t do to me, because I want to be…your equal partner. In every way that word can mean.”
Was that enough? No, it needed to be more. Clearer.
“I…fell for you before you’d even come home from those weeks that you were gone, though it was only a little afterwards that I realized it.”