Standing there alone was worse, but he felt like he needed full transparency. He liked the guy - really liked him - so lies, however little, were wrong. Secrets weren't much better. He had some really, really big secrets. Huge. Better to start easing Makishima into the truth right then and there so when the really big stuff came up later down the line, it wouldn't be due to a snowball effect.
"Hey," he murmured, wandering out after the teen and leaning it to press a kiss to the side of his head. Just a quick peck into the mess of green and red. Leaning forward onto the balcony railing and holding his drink with both hands, the Turk sighed, pursing his lips in thought.
"So, I come from a pretty shitty country," he started, not knowing a better place to begin, but knowing Makishima could probably use some context.
"It's pretty uh, how you people around here say "third world", in a lot of places. Some parts are really developed, some aren't. I grew up in a real shithole and I never really got out of it, morally or financially. I do pretty well for myself - who am I kiddin', I do really well - but it's like...I'm not the kinda person well-to-do kids really should date, you know? I mean, everyone oughta make their own choices, and I'm not one to make someone else's mind up for them, but it kinda makes me feel a little guilty. Like, a lotta times in my life I've wanted to date the rich kid to rub it in the family's smug faces when they see their little girl or boy running with the thug, you know? But...in your case...I just wanna date you for me. I don't give a shit about what anyone else would think or say and I don't have anything to prove. I mean, other than proving I can be a good boyfriend, given half a chance," he mused, drumming his fingers lightly on his cup.
"So I might need a little time once in a while to think about things before I say or do them, 'cuz I'm like, really impulsive, yo. I don't give a shit about much. I'm not really all that patient or tolerant of rules or social niceties, I guess. I don't wanna change who I am, or nothin', but...there's no harm in just...cleanin' up nice. Holdin' my tongue sometimes. Like, if you want me to just cut loose and do whatever, you just gotta say so, but I'm kinda...uhhh...quick. Just...you know," he floundered, gesturing vaguely.
"Like hookin' up sooner rather than later. But I guess I figure that's usually 'cuz I'm not good enough for more than a couple dates, so it was all I looked forward to when I knew I was gonna have to bounce. Now...I...really, really don't wanna go."
no subject
"Hey," he murmured, wandering out after the teen and leaning it to press a kiss to the side of his head. Just a quick peck into the mess of green and red. Leaning forward onto the balcony railing and holding his drink with both hands, the Turk sighed, pursing his lips in thought.
"So, I come from a pretty shitty country," he started, not knowing a better place to begin, but knowing Makishima could probably use some context.
"It's pretty uh, how you people around here say "third world", in a lot of places. Some parts are really developed, some aren't. I grew up in a real shithole and I never really got out of it, morally or financially. I do pretty well for myself - who am I kiddin', I do really well - but it's like...I'm not the kinda person well-to-do kids really should date, you know? I mean, everyone oughta make their own choices, and I'm not one to make someone else's mind up for them, but it kinda makes me feel a little guilty. Like, a lotta times in my life I've wanted to date the rich kid to rub it in the family's smug faces when they see their little girl or boy running with the thug, you know? But...in your case...I just wanna date you for me. I don't give a shit about what anyone else would think or say and I don't have anything to prove. I mean, other than proving I can be a good boyfriend, given half a chance," he mused, drumming his fingers lightly on his cup.
"So I might need a little time once in a while to think about things before I say or do them, 'cuz I'm like, really impulsive, yo. I don't give a shit about much. I'm not really all that patient or tolerant of rules or social niceties, I guess. I don't wanna change who I am, or nothin', but...there's no harm in just...cleanin' up nice. Holdin' my tongue sometimes. Like, if you want me to just cut loose and do whatever, you just gotta say so, but I'm kinda...uhhh...quick. Just...you know," he floundered, gesturing vaguely.
"Like hookin' up sooner rather than later. But I guess I figure that's usually 'cuz I'm not good enough for more than a couple dates, so it was all I looked forward to when I knew I was gonna have to bounce. Now...I...really, really don't wanna go."